Tuesday, April 28
Monday, April 27
Aww, this is "Smokey." At least that's my name for him. He's in kitty jail. He's still waiting to hear back from Da Kine Bail Bonds for a post.
OMG, he held still for a photo. Amazing!
Smokey's giving me the stink eye again. "How dare you take my picture?"
The 3 gatos curled up inbetween Katie and I on the couch. This was the calm before the storm.
The afore-mentioned storm. Note: We were watching Baby Mama. Yes, my 3rd time in 2 weeks. I am seeking therapy over this.
Helly Hansen? Yes. Lemme try it on again. Yes.
"You have 3 laptops in your possession?"
(One being for my brother, one for his client, and MINE!)
So that means I need to get on the ball about uploading all my pictures off this dinosaur and into PhotoBucket. And incase you haven't been able to tell, sometimes I lack motivation until the deadline is upon me. Well, that deadline is upon me.
Not sure when I'll get to see my new beauty, but I can't wait. It's been too long. My patience has worn thin. My language has degraded to pleeaaading for my current laptop to just hold on for another 36 hours. "That's all I ask."
So after the new one is up and running, I'll be first taking a small screwdriver to it (maybe a Screwdriver to my liver also). I want to see the interior makings of this delapidated ol' thing. And then, after I try and put it back together. Muhahaha, gunfire. Oh, this will be fun. *Cue maniacal laughter*
This awful montage is what fueled the stamina needed for intense air drums with pedal bass, air tamberines (sp?), air keyboard, air guitar, and air marracas. And don't let me forget my bad ass moves as if I were a back-up singer for Prince or KISS. If you passed me on I-5, I'm sorry. I tend to get waaaay too into it. I even thought about videoing, but some things are just meant for envisionment.
"I'll always remember...it was late afternoon...IN PLACES NO ONE WILL FIIIIIND" (warble it out like the best Celine Dion ever heard). I'm awesome. If only there was a camera. But thank goodness there wasn't.
The moral of the story is: Don't have a coffee drink right before cramping yourself in a car for 3-plus hours. The energy will come out of your mouth. And into the form of some intense jazz hands and chuckin'-and-jivin' background dancer moves. And it'll also cause you to think that you can take pictures of the scenery while on a back-country road...in motion.
Saturday, April 25
Friday, April 24
Good lord. I wouldn't know where to start.
Wednesday, April 22
Anyways, I would like to inform the masses of a secret project I've been working on.
But first, more information.
After much deliberation and contemplation, I'm making a big move. Literally. In 2 weeks, I'm packing up 2 checked bags and my carry-on for the destination of Norfolk. For good? Not sure. For a job? Yes. At least, that's my goal. The rest is for Future Ashley to work out.
There are many factors that have influenced this decision. I've toiled for days, weeks, months to much duress and imbibation. I haven't worked since January after losing my job. I love Norfolk far more than the sand land of Occupied Alabama (Florida). I feel that now is the chance I have to break out, try something new, and see if I can survive outside the nest.
That's pretty much it all in a nutshell.
And so with that knowledge, people, I can let you guys in on my secret. :)
It's a known fact that my layout is plagued. It sucks, but it's true. And because I have no idea how to fix it, I have another plan. I'm launching a new blog. A new title and name, which seems fitting. So once I get the Boomerang posts transferred, things will be as good as gold.
I'm excited. You guys should be too.
Tuesday, April 21
Let's see how my definition pans out.
Nothing too controversial. An Alicia Keys case that actually houses Justin's FutureSexLoveSounds CD. A ziploc of Emergen-C and some Crystal Light packets. My electronic solitaire game when boredom hits out in public. My folder of resumes and a notebook for that orientation I had to go to yesterday.
Tissues, tampons, lotion, eye cream, lip gloss, keys, gum, hair brush, wallet, Yogi Tea, MP3 player, headband, planner - nothing too out of the ordinary.
The only things missing from the photo shoot were my camera and cell phone. I was using both. At the same time. Yes, I'm talented. My dad was asking, "where'd russia go?" And my camera was at work. Plus they're a little shy. You'll have to excuse them.
Monday, April 20
' "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin " - Michael Scott' - Ashley Fields (Please tell me you Office fans get this).Well what...or should I say who...does my dad notice sitting behind Brad and Hayley? "Hey, look, it's Charles Manson!"
"Hhahaahhahaah." - me, "Who's Charles Manson?" - Hay & Brad
"It's so easy, a caveman can do it." - me.
"Hahahhahahaa." - group laugh.
Yes, the picture is blurry. Yes, Brad's head is partially in it. We had to pretend we were taking a pic of Brad & Hay so it didn't look super obvious. And I didn't put the flash on because I didn't want to be that person. So I apologize for the proof. But still, it's pretty funny.
After years of Crisis Intervention with the Oregon State Police SWAT Team, he put his life on the life yet again to save another 2 individuals. All for what? Not a pat on the back. Not a key to the city. But because it's his duty as an upstanding citizen to react when necessary for the bettterment of mankind. Let us toast.
Near the back of the Seaside Safeway sat these 2 defenseless characters. On the clearance rack. Not an ounce of dignity left. Like the brother and sister Chocolate labs at the Humane Society. Not even sad eyes could waver anyone's attention to rescue them.
Good thing my dad has a heart.
He scooped up these 2 loving pups for a killer price of $5/6-pack. Anyone who knows their AKC registered price is over $8/6-pack regularly. But because of a slight defect in their exterior, they were cast away like the lepers. Not this time. You have a home now, little fellas. You'll be taken care of in a nice, cold fridge. You'll be celebrated with joyous cheers. You'll be the center of attention. Don't despair, you ugly ducklings. You're both beautiful swans.
You sit on the couch and watching movies. Wow. Party Animal, I know.
On my viewing pleasure:
Saturday, April 18
In my recent efforts to go through every single thing I possess, I've turned to the garage. My parents' garage. The garage that houses every other momento to our family (2 parents, 4 kids...that crap adds up). I swear, it looks like the set for Band of Brothers.
You won't believe the awesome, and not so awesome, stuff I found.
- About 5 half bottles of booze. Dude, where have you been this whole time I've been living with my parents?
- A years worth of Fitness magazines. From 1995. Yes, 220.127.116.11.
- My doll that was used during the "doll dance" in the Nutcracker.
- An awesome Beaver scarf. Score. Dibs.
- My favorite 90's shoes that are reminicent of the Spice Girls.
- My Senior project.
- And all my sports shirts from my years of althletics. Now it's my turn to turn them into a quilt when I have the time, the space, the supplies, and the sanity.
And this is just the good stuff that I found. Who cares about the crap that I can't recall. You guys aren't losing sleep over. At least I hope not. If that's the case. You're in worse shape than me. That's not a compliment.
Now, unfortunately, it's my job to organize it all. The booze will add to the collection (that is if it's any good. We'll let Hayley test it out). The shirts will be added to my collection for varying sewing projects. The scarf will go into the sacred Beaver Gear box. You get the picture.
But first, I'm getting dragged out to a comedy show. Ya, exactly. Medford. Comedy. Plus a $4 cover. Well as long as there's a bar. I can always laugh after I've been drinking.
This is my baby. My brother ordered it earlier this week. I'm so excited for her to come. Let's hope she's a premie. I really am losing my patience with my "hoja de mierda." I just want a new computer. It's been too long. Almost 5 years.
But rest assure the old laptop will have a proper send off. It'll involve the mountains, a little bit of ammo, and wook's Turkish Mauzer. That's right. It's getting blown to smithereens. I love knowing Navy boys with toys.
Friday, April 17
Okay, so I realize that I'm not 12 and this is not exactly a huge landmark. But I'm still entertained by the fact that I'll have free range of the place. Which means I'll probably be glued to the couch, watching tv, surfing on my dad's laptop (if he doesn't take it), contemplating the possibility of a maid. Life's rough.
But I should probably get going on that growing list of things I have to do. I've been a little off my schedule lately. Thanks to my dad getting a gig in Portland, I was able to drive him north, he was able to kick out 4 reports, and I made a little money. Not too shabby for a little driving, some McMenamin's, and hanging out at Chateau de Hayley.
But the real work starts today. I've got a downstairs to clean. Just wait. You'll see.
Wednesday, April 15
Good thing I was able to hold a text-versation with Stacey about all things legen...dary.
- The fireworks Capt. John threw in the barrel. Awesome.
- Stac and I agree that we'd prefer to go bar hopping with the Time Bandit guys. We like the rowdy boys.
- The pouring of the water on that guy trying to tie up pots. Hy-ster-ical.
- Poor Keith and his little cancer scare. I felt for the guy.
- Phil can't leave!
- Sid biting the fish's head clean off...awesome. I wonder if they stock breathmints onboard?
- I wonder if the birds that follow the boats ever score any food.
- I also wonder what's the highest number of bleeps for expletives for one episode.
- Keith just took a boat to the head. I think I'd be in an instant panic.
- Are any of the guys onboard certified in anything medical? More so than ripping out teeth with pliers or taping fingertips back on?
Overall, a great first episode. And no, the whole "can you survive in Alaska?" will not become a staple of mine. I only have 3 real loves. Jim & Pam. Marshall & Lilly (although it's disappointing that episodes aren't online anymore). And the DC boys.
Tuesday, April 14
It had been acting acceptable lately, but today apparently it was "No More Mr. Tolerable Laptop." Now without running a string of expletives, let's just say I need a drink. Never have I more. But can I wait until the DC Premiere tonight? We'll see.
I called my brother to tell him we're a go for a new laptop. Please expedite the shipping, please expedite the shipping, please expedite the shipping. *Clicking my ruby red slippers together*
Now I realize that things happen for a reason, and maybe I wasn't supposed to get an application in for the job that closed at 5pm EST. But golly, that still doesn't help my blood pressure. I don't think I've been that angry since...umm...well...probably one time I had too much to drink and people were being stupid. See...that's how long it's been. I now know how Phil feels after his sons are being stupid onboard. Maybe I should take up smoking.
So ya, sorry for the venting. Good golly. I may need a drink after all, still.
But on the brighter side. If it really is true about my laptop not having a future after it is replaced, then I may have some fun with it. Anyone know someone with a 50-Cal? RPG? Grenade launcher? Anything? I'll even take a shotgun. Sawed off, that is.
So what are you waiting for? Hop to it. Don't stand around being a bunch of cotton headed ninny muggins. You people need to be on my good side when my finger gets on the trigger.
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So either post on your own blog if you feel so entertained, or leave a comment about which you are. I'm curious how everyone turns out. Not that I don't know people's styles already. That way I can make fun of those who get "Estate"...have you had your fiber regularity today? ;)
Monday, April 13
It's the new season of the Deadliest Catch. One of my dad and I's favorite. We're even thinking of having a DC Season Premiere Party. Lame? I think not. We're legen...darily awesome.
And in case you wanted to know who my favorites are:
The chain-smoking Phil and his sons on the Cornelia Marie. Sig and Edgar on the Northwestern (how can you not love someone who bites the heads off of fish??) And lastly, Captain John on the Time Bandit. What a salty dog.
Sunday, April 12
Here are our mini-baskets from the Bunny. Shocking how baskets multiply when you have more people involved with your family. Dane (Poodle) has a basket, Amber has one too, and so does Bradford (Hay's roomie, and subsequent Adopted Younger Brother of many years). The only one missing is wook. But Brad's convinced wook doesn't exist. He's my own George Glass. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
Well the kids thought it'd be appropriate to pose with the creepy modelquins at the front of the store.
Friday, April 10
And to continue my sap story. My eye dr. appt was at 8am. I haven't gotten up before 8 in a week. Seriously. I hope they didn't mind my slight eye boogies. I probably had Cheerios still on my breath. But at least I was able to get in. With my normal doctor, there weren't appointments until next month. Umm, that's not going to work. I'd like to get things done in the next couple weeks, k? Thanks. So I'll see another doctor. I don't care. Just gimme a new Rx.
I even attempted to post this morning about my condition, after I had just gotten back...but I got a headache from trying to focus. I seemed to forget that they said my near-sighted vision would be slightly outta commission. Good luck texting. So instead, I napped on the couch. I say napped, because it was more like a pass out. I was tired of being woozy. So I asked Hay to make me a bagel, lightly toasty, with butter, and cinnamon. She nagged about her being my bitch or something (I swear the dilation effected my ears also), "omg, what the f*** is wrong with your eyes?!?!"
I love you too.
So far a humorous morning. I called my dad to see if I could get a ride home since it was bright as crap this morning (it was overcast with a hint of rain, btw). But he was busy getting his hairdid, so he didn't pick up. Okay, that's cool. I'll drive. Kinda. Didn't wreck at least. :)
I did stop by Albertsons after my appointment to drop off some coinage in CoinStar. What I thought was maybe $10-12 bucks turned out to be $36.42. Score. Seriously score. I had that coinage sitting around for a year and a half in one of those alcoholic jars that you get after ordering the House Drink and you get to keep it. I like when things work out like that. I keep the money, I ditch the jar. Boo Safeway for having your CoinStar broken. Albertsons, 2 points.
So after a slight nap during Lady in the Water and then finding the sexy John McClane in Die Hard 4, I'm hoping to be feeling better so I can head out and run some errands. I'm getting tired of being forced to sleep to make it wear off. I want my pupils returned to normal.
I did find out today that I have a slight astigmatism in both eyes. That sounds like fun. So I'm asking what the exact definition is and if it's really an issue. I assumed not, because...it sounds kinda like flossing. It's just a point of reference.
"Astigmatism is a slight curvature of the eye in a horizontal fashion."
"So my eyes are shaped like Stewie Griffin's head?"
"Yes. Exactly." Good to know.
Right now Psycho (my mom's cat) is resting on my lap. Again. He spent the morning napping on my legs with me. Which was okay with me, since he was quite warm. So within our love-hate relationship involves him hissing because he's a douche, my threatening to kick him into next week because he's a douche, or me loving up on Fluffer Lover (the white kitty from our yard).
Ooooo, he just moved. Yay. Gotta get myself together to run some errands after Hay gets home from getting her hairdid. Mission: Ashland to donate books/clothes at varying locations, Target for fun. Like I need a reason to be entertained at Target.
Thursday, April 9
That's right. The laptop has been classified terminal.
With Collin's jump-start, my brother's been doing some research into Dell (since he has an account with them, does loads of business, and can get a much better price) and come back with possibilities. But with the steady decline of this hear beast, my patience may be lost sooner rather than later. All I need this thing to survive more is so I can get my stupid pictures and crap off. Hmm...maybe it's never to late to open a Flickr account.
I better get the ball rolling...after waking up past 900am this morning. *yawn* I love you too. ;)
Wednesday, April 8
But what to my wondering eye should appear...but an electronic solitaire game. Perfect for air travel. It must be love.
I can't wait to purchase it up before my next traveling stint. It took a little while to get used to the way that it handled, the way the buttons moved the cards around. But overall, a fine choice. I think I sat on an endcap for 15 minutes playing with it. Stac tested the 20 Questions machine twice, choosing "tampon" and "German Shepard" as her stumping choices. Way to go.
Tuesday, April 7
You win a trip to Austria!
Okay, maybe not win, but you're "tentatively" assigned a teaching position in a classroom outside Vienna. No, the classroom isn't outside the city, the classroom is in a town outside Vienna...never-the-less.
So what is this blogger doing about it? Debating whether or not she can make it over for more travels. We'll see...people...we'll see.
I need a new laptop.
I can't open more than 5 tabs, try to toggle between the many, when it'll shit-storm freeze up. Ever seen a redhead mad? (Trick question. We're always a little mad.) Tell me about it. Just feel bad for the Sheriff who has to calm me down. Nothing a Wild West shot of whiskey can't help.
Good thing I have my team working on it.
It just sucks to have to drop $800ish on a new piece of technology. But I guess that's why God invented the Tax Return. That way I don't feel too bad about upgrading my electronic status.
It's been a long time coming. This beauty has lasted well beyond her prime. I bought her my 3rd year of college (so that's 3 years of college, and almost 2 out...gosh, 2 out??...really??...already??...where's time gone?), so it's time for a replacement.
So let's hope than the Computer Gods are running some Blue Light Specials for my wallet.
Monday, April 6
(wook, stop dancing around the apartment in a victorious manner.)
I don't know what it is, but I was stalking like usual when I found myself being very over the concept of his posts.
Sad, I know.
Gosh. Well. I guess I'm okay with that.
I mean, I realize I have other things to focus on so I shouldn't be spending hours stalking PH.
Maybe being away from technology on the cruise has really gotten to me.
- Whiten my teeth with Crest Whiting Strips. Use for 7 days, visible results after 3! Or is it 4? Oh who knows.
- Blog the rest of Spring Break (gotta get pics off of my dad's computer).
- Eat more salad.
- Tackle cleaning the house (or at least part of it) since the kids are coming down for Easter (and Trac is bringing her roomie).
- Run box of books to Ashland to donate to the RVME (Rogue Valley Media Exchange).
- Mail off cookbooks to wook's?
- Organize load going to consignment shop.
- Spend hours sorting, pitching, keeping items of endearment within my storage unit.
- Plug in lava lamp for throw back memories (no, this wasn't Dazed and Confused...I wish).
- Get my hairdid on Thursday, in time for Easter - the need to look good in my new dress. :)
- Get my browsdid...desperately. But first, I have to get an appt. with Michelle.
- Finish wrapping Hay's belated birthday present. ;)
- Work on Mission: Ka-Bloom!
- Debate how long I'm going to continue fighting with this laptop.
- Have many delicious bowls of little golden halos (Cheerios).
- Clean out car? (Never my favorite activity).
- Try to return sweaters to Walmart. (Wore one twice to which is stretched out way too much. Let's see what they can do for me.)
- Finish up laundry.
- Get insight on where to find a new blog template (one that won't gimme stupid Google Ads).
- Hem one skirt and one dress to the appropriate knee length.
Wish me luck.
Saturday, April 4
We'll see. :)
So we scored a $20/person trolley ride around town, which lasted about 3 hours. Pretty nifty. And while it wasn't the swimming with the dolphins the kids wanted to do (somehow they failed to recognize the $200/person price tag), it was enough entertainment for the day.
So this was a little restaurant down in the cultural part of Mazatlan. I just want to light up a Cuban and read a tasty little book. And maybe eat some really good food, which thankfully happened an hour and a half later. Oh God, the chimichangas. Delish. Living it up, ex-pat style.