Do You Know How To Make A Person Feel Like They Don't Belong?

So I went back to Oregon this past weekend for a visit. A reintroduction of my roots.

Person: "Wow, you sure look East Coast."

Me: *GASP!!!!* "No, don't say that."

I was slightly offended. Slightly taken aback. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to unload a "wtf????" I just sort of stood there, jaw open, sure of my strong West Coast-ness, my love for all things relaxed and un-uptight.

I recycle...religiously...for crying out load. I love Columbia. And Chacos. And Subarus. I joke about being a lesbian and taking my dogs for hikes. I'm not offended by rainbow stickers and gay marriage. I live for the rain. And wavy, unpolished hair. I choose enviro-friendly products for even the most menial cleaning ventures.

How could I be called East Coast??

I'll recover. Somehow. After a healthy dose of real mountains, micro brews, pine trees, and Big Foot sightings. So for starters, anyone seen wook?

Touchdown Wrong Coast!

I'm here. Alive. All things with me. Only a slight headache.

It wasn't too bad. I zonked out a good portion from Portland to Chicago. Then I had a half hour layover in Chicago, which left me finding a bar right next to my gate. "Blue Moon and a cheeseburger, please."

Then in the 6 minutes it took me to eat my burger, I had a 45 minute delay.

I love when news is sprung on me after alcohol kicks in, because then I don't care.

But alas, we make it all the way to Norfolk. Wook picks me up. We start driving. I start yelling at the idiots who can't drive correctly. The retards who can't stay in their lane. I'm tired of Norfolk already. And it's only been 17 minutes.

Tomorrow's back to the grindstone. Back to the working life. Back to dreaming of the West Coast. Of the superb beer. Of my family. Of the Orange and Black. Of next time.

Second Time's The Luck?

I was up at 3:30am PST. I'll leave here at 4:30am PST for Portland International. Flight scheduled for 6:31am PST (not just 6:30am, mind you). And I hope there's a fully functioning steel tube prepared to jump over the Rockies into Chicagoland. Pretty please...

Open Vice Grip, Enter Head

First it was December of 2008. Now it's September 2009. I love cancelled flights.

Thank you for the failed engine that caused my flight to Chicago to be cancelled. Thanks for the 45-minute wait in order to rebook my trip back East. United, you did it again. Awesome.

New Plan: PDX at 6:30am, tomorrow morning (Tuesday).

Layover: Chicago, Illinois.

ETA: 5:00pm in Norfolk, Virginia.

Next step: Breakfast. Then a nap (since I wasn't able to get one mid-flight). Ugh.

But honestly, how can you complain about being stuck in Portland, while visiting Baby Sister, and having one last night of great beer and food. I mean, you should feel sorry for me.

Welcome Committee

Up at 2:30 am EST. In after 2:00pm PST. One long day of travel. All worth it.

I expected a swoop-in-to-the-airport-arrival-lane kind-of pickup. Not a welcome committee. Complete with a sign. A "We (heart) Ging" sign. That made my day. Let the good times begin.

A Girl, Found, Remembered

It was a nice summer in Oregon when a young woman was taken from an apartment complex just off Oregon State's campus. My campus. My beloved campus. Right there. Asshole. And I'm not sure if it made national news, but the PacNW was definitely aware of how a rapist was already caught in New Mexico and then considered an interest in this missing girl's case.

That fall and later, 2 bloggers moved into the same apartment complex (although not together, but less than 30 yards apart). I, being a nearly 5'11" redhead, didn't worry about being abducted. But you better believe I was around with Mommy McD at her towering height of 5'Short."

People questioned my sanity for living in an apartment complex with such a history. Journalists would come by asking for stories, viewpoints, opinions of living here. I never gave a care. I liked living 8 minutes walking to my building. I liked living 10 minutes walking to the tailgating spot. I liked living on the quieter side of campus where there isn't unst-unst music till dawn, people barfing in my yard, or hooking up on the front porch couch across the street. And the new managers loved us. Just call Mommy McD and Mrs Wookie apartment complex favorites.

Well Mommy McD facebook'd today that after 5 years, she was found. Finally.

And the killer did all that to avoid the death penalty. I wonder if it's considered un-kosher to reneg on that offer. Be like, "Psych!" and throw the switch. I would.

Emmy Aftermath

I didn't watch them, but I'm happy with the results. And the host. Oh, NPH...

And if the only thing you get out of this post is to watch one movie, I did my job.

Jessica Lange won Best Actress in a Movie for Grey Gardens (a remake) on HBO. It was produced by Drew Barrymore, and it was stellar. Very thought-provoking. A great movie. I watched it twice by myself, and once more with my mom. Then again by myself. It definitely helped me in making my decision to jump East. I recommend downloading it. Legally or illegally, your call. Or Netflixing it. Or HBO-ing it. Something.

Mad Men won, because...well...it's Mad Men. Don Draper doesn't need a reason.

A look at that body. She defies modern genetics with looking that good. Dayum...

Battle of the Bacteria

First I got sick. Then wook got sick. Then I got un-sick. Then wook got un-sick. Then I got re-sick. Then wook got re-sick. Then wook got un-sick. Then I got a case of the lingering phlegm hanging off the back of my sinuses. (Sorry, I know, it's kinda a sick mental picture - but just think, you don't have to hear me.)

So I got even. Knobs, handles, arm rests, switches, buttons, and pulls beware. There's a new killer in town (and I'm not talking the killer that's on the loose in Washington State). It's called Lysol. Brought to you by Mrs Wookie's index finger. It's like an aerial ballet around the loft. Spray, spray here, spray, spray there, a couple of la-dee-daaaas, that's how we keep the germs at bay at the Merry Ol' Land of Oz. This thing is awesome. Not only am I "cleaning," but I get to dance while I do it. How often do people have fun cleaning a toilet? Exactly. I can get on board this kind of cleaning. Now if only there were a spray for runaway Cheerios in the morning. And laundry.

I Heart Target

I clicked my order in Thursday night. By Friday early evening, both boxes were marked "shipped" by the Gods of Target and had a tracking number.

I decided on a neutral boot that can go with all arrays of jacket colors. And this one was deemed a "tall boot" - so I thought that a little extra boot never hurt my lower legs. And darn Target for only carrying a couple selections in store. But at least this way I save gas and avoid the ghetto where the nearest Target is located.

And in order to qualify for that pesky "Spend $50 In Completely Random And Obscure Areas, Qualify For FREE SHIPPING!"....this baby is on her way here. Just look at her. A fabulous orange work bag. (Go Beavs.) Now let's hope the beauty is in the bag and not just the picture. Because that would not be cool, Target.

The Fortune Gods Don't Lie

Today's fortune brought to you by PF Chang's via Heather's (a coworker) lunch.

I wasn't really feeling it since tonight's an average Thursday night on a work week. But then Heather made a statement that tonight's the season opening of my show.

Oh Jim and Pam, I've missed you. And I'm excited. I love you. There, I said it.

Happy Birthday Mamacita!

Turning a whole 24 (is that right?) on Mexico's Independence Day!!

At least I think you're 24. Wook's age, right? I could be wrong. But whatever.

Anyways, my dear, get better. You sound like death. I know it's not nice to tell people that/when they sound like death...but friends don't lie.

I wish you consciousness on your birthday. Maybe an adult beverage to kill the pain. A quick recovery. Maybe we can hit up a pedi stop the next time I'm in town. (Mark, have I ever told you, you're my favorite adopted sister's husband??)

And what's up with your sister making equally adorable offspring? You guys need to stop. The world needs to catch up. And by world, I mean me. Do you know how hard it'll be to pass on eyeballs the size of mine??? My dad did it, but I mean, look at me. I'm a rare cause. A diamond in the rough. A granule of awesome in a bag of oats.

Wait, how'd I get off topic again?? Happy Birthday Mommy McD!! Woohoo!!

Today's Specifics

Wake Up Time: 5:09am. "Hey baby, it's 5am, don't you need to get up?" Awake from peaceful sleep, look at the clock, think No, it's not 5am, it's 5:09am, there's a difference, 5am allows me to pretend I'm sleeping for another 9 minutes...but instead you made me think that I have 9 minutes of delaying the inevitable need of getting up way too early.

Breakfast: Okay, no surprise here. A gigantic bowl of Cheerios. And this time they all stayed in the bowl as I walked from the kitchen to the coffee table (we're still kinda searching for a pub-height, 2 stools with-backs, table to officially call a dining nook). Yesterday was a little crazy as over a dozen suicidal Cheerios jumped from the bowl all over the floor. And I forgot to clean them up. Wook thought a grenade went off in the battle of Captain Crunch vs the Honey Bee.

But let's not forget my mission yesterday of tracking down vegan butter (yes, an oxymoron, I agree) and egg replacer. I'm bringing in homemade vegan pumpkin muffins this morning since we have to be in really early today. And yes, one of coworkers is vegan. And it's not like it'll hurt us to eat vegan. Besides, it was kinda interesting to watch a vegan recipe come together (the egg replacer is a powder you add water to - weird - and then the amount of baking powder is ungodly).

The Attire: I don't know yet, story of most mornings.

Lunch Date: It'll be my leftover Thai food from Saturday night.

The End: Thank goodness tomorrow isn't as earlier as a morning. Yay, sleep.

Another Blog Launched

Of course already added to my blog roll, the one, the only, the Santo Kerbina has created another blog to chronicle her time in...yet, another foreign country.

I'm pleased to present: http://kerbyinvienna.blogspot.com/

And FYI, it's juuuuust launched. No fancy-shmancy templates or features yet. But those are to come, right Kerby??? I know lots of people use Cutest Blog On The Block, so I'll look around for anything I feel is "Kerb worthy." If not, we'll work something out. But at least it's launched, which a step in the right directon.

But until then, feel free to jump on over and visit.

I mean, the girl's only been there a few days and has already met the German Chancellor! At a rally. And got to hold a sign for her. And shake her hand!!!

I can see the headlines now...

American pulls off excellent German accent, invades political rally, meets Chancellor, shakes hand, is offered job at U.S. Embassy in Berlin, American accepts immediately!

And the sub-headline...

Penthouse loft arranged for American and redheaded friend-slash-blogger attached to the site Wookie & Co., redhead pegged as Executive Assistant, starts German classes.

Nice work Santo Kerbina! And have I told you lately I loooved Heidelburg?!

A Claim to Seattle Fame

Graduate high school. Play college softball. Live in awesome Seattle. Get great job.

Picture courtesy of Seattle University Athletics

The girl on the left is my cousin Katie, who's squeezed in between Trac and Hay in the long line-up of cousins on my mother's side of the family (Trac, freshly 21...Katie 20...Hay 19).

She plays softball for Seattle U, and has a little claim to fame as a Ball Girl for the Mariners this season. How bitchin' is that? I love having famous family. Besides myself, of course.

Wanted: New Family, Almost

There are few things we PacNW-ers take seriously. Pac-10 sports, microbreweries, and the delectability of In N Out. With that being said, I was talked off the ledge this afternoon by the Sheriff in wanting a new dad and sisters.

The text-versation as follows:

Sheriff: "Redding.....Guess where the next stop is?"

Me: "I've disowned my family."

Sheriff: "Please don't. I will buy you a Rubberhead."

Me: "Tempting...make it a pitcher and some cajun tots, deal."

Sheriff: "Ha ha and I will throw in a hummus plate to boot."

Me: "Now we're talking...wooooohoooooo!"

Clues for those who don't know what we're talking about. It's called McMenamin's. And it's a place of the Beer Gods. The pinnacle of the Beer Gods. Home to Portland, Oregon. Pure heaven in an always-frosty pint. It dries the eyes of children, while envoking tears in adults of its tasteful concoction. It was a staple of every Oregon State alum's college experience, so much that our boys were known by name at the one just off campus.

McMenny's, I've missed you. It won't be much longer. Keep your head up.

And what would a blog post about In N Out be without the deliciousness of some animalized fries. Thank goodness there weren't any action shots of my dad and sisters mid-bite. My heart couldn't handle that. Coronary, Aisle 4.

Bon Voyage!

She's gone. Again. Story of her life. And not just a few weeks or a couple months time. This girl seems to jump ship for a years-length of time. Next stop: Vienna, Austria.

First it was Germany for a year. Which some awesome Ging (me!) trekked 10 hours on a flight to see her. Not to mention, after almost missing my flight entirely, and de-magnetizing both my debit card and credit card. But I was successful in packing for 2 weeks abroad the morning of my flight (however, that's not why I was late to the airport, fyi).

This time she's on the other end of the radar. No longer student, it's now TEACHER!

I don't have too many details right now, but when we launch her blog this week (oh, yes, you people will succumb to her blog also - Kerb, no pressure now. But in all honestly, it has to be funny. Super funny. Use that brain of yours. If you can study multiple languages, you can humor me. Now go. Try. Succeed!!).

And I need your address too. :D

She left at 1:30pm PST out of Portland, OR (PDX) aboard a Lufthansa flight.

If you have the chance to fly non-American (but I'm not talking like a piss flight between Nepalese villages), go for it. Free alcohol. Better food. Announcements that aren't in English. Good time, great oldies, cool 107!

Not sure what time that puts her into Frankfurt, Germany, but she's probably there by now. She's staying with a friend in Mainz (where she went to school for a year - a town about 45 minutes outside Frankfurt), before she takes the train south, over ze Alps, into Austria, and to the awesome place she'll live for a school year.

Kerb, best of luck. Not like I won't hear from you. Let me know what kind of phone plan you have. If we can accomodate texting. If not, Skype dates it is. And I'll put your time zone on my phone so I can track where you are in your day. Keep me posted. We'll launch the blog soon. Tell Julia hi for me. And I need to email Sandra Grau Grau too. Have some schoko brotchen for me. And some schoko milchen. And ein dunkelweiss, bitte. Ampelmanchen! Omg, now seriously, I may need an Ampelmanchen mug. The green Ampelmanchen. Let me know what you see and how much that would run to ship one back to me.

And what do you want/need from the East Coast? I have mermaids, Navy flair, Obama gear, non-micro beer...

Packaged With Care! And Love!

I usually only check my mail once every couple days, since I'm never really expecting anything via snail mail these days. Well this definitely made my day.

Oooooo, what's this?? Torrid tackle? I see spankies!! Me likey already...

Let's dump it out like a 5 year-old on Christmas. Lootin' time! Let's see here...

Ding, ding, ding. Spankies! With an anchor on it, nonetheless. And scarves!!

In case you didn't get the full effect of seeing the collection of scarves and pair of underoos, let me stand and take a picture for you. Torrid scarves are the best. And the 'roos are completely wedgie-proof. Even Sarah Chalke can't disagree. And the scarves,....oh the scarves. I should dedicated an entire post to them alone. My neck enjoys these scarves. And the one in the middle of the 3 looks like a mexican blanket. Too bad I can't do mexi-scrunchy hair. :(

Thanks Bubby for making my day! I can't wait to see the fam in a few weeks! Beaver Tailgating...watch out! The Sisters are back in action. Ready, set, jello shot!

Happy Labor Day!

Here's to those who are enjoying picnics, or concerts, or roadtrips back from Boston in a car full of dudes and 80's rock bands, I hope your labor day is a great day off.

I'm in the midst of a torrential downpour for who-knows-how-long. But it's not like I mind. I live for days that bring me back to Corvallis (larger picture: Oregon). It's not often that the memories of home can be brought on with God's watering can. I guess that solidifies that notion that I'll be inside all day, since the wrath of Hurricane Ashley still needs to be cleaned up. Where's FEMA when you need them? Oh wait, that's right...I'd be waiting a week to get any sort of response. Guess I'll have to start cleaning it on my own. Boo.

It's Late, Do You Know Where Your Child Is?

Well for my parents, I'll tell you where I'm going. To bed. *yawn*

I had a rough day today.

I woke up. Had a delicious bowl of Cheerios. Started cranking out this awesome brochure for my dad. Webcam-ed with the Sheriff while we fine-tuned this piece of delectable creativity. Put a fork in it and called it good. All while I snacked on cocktail peanuts "MADE WITH PURE SEA SALT." And lamented about how I need to clean the house before wook gets home otherwise Mrs Wookie will become Mrs Homeless.

So now I'm tired. I had a delicious dinner of French Toast Sunday. I fed the turtles. I've changed into pajamas. And I'm ready for some unconsciousness. I mean, my eyelids are drooping while I barely put this post together.

Tomorrow will be a big day. Well, at least a busy day. I have the entire house to pick up. Sadly Hurricane Ashley still resides over this apartment, strewing contents and possessions everywhere. Good thing I have all day tomorrow to make things right before the wookie of the house makes it home. Ready, set, clean!

But first, I am le tired...

2009-10 OSU Football Season: Are You Ready???

It's official, kids. Oregon State launches another great year of Orange and Black, today (this morning to the West Coast folk), in a home game vs. Portland State.

And what are tailgaiting efforts without celebratory mimosas? Good thing Hay and I had a stringent lesson about the proper ratios of mimosas (lots of champagne, just enough orange juice to give it coloring).

And in our family, new season = new sweatshirt complements of the CEO in World Headquarters. Wooohooo!

I'll be picking my new collection when I make it back for the Arizona game.

And this is the first official season Trac will be a legal drinker. Double Woohooo!!!!!

Go Beavs!