Mr. Wookie + The Life Aquatic

This USS Awesome currently deployed.

So the past 3 weeks have been entertaining, to say the least. I did want to back away from the blog while I get everything together (mind, body, wallet) after I dropped off Mr. Wookie at the squadron for their departure. But things are hitting a stride and there are things to discuss, Murphy's Law incidents to recant, sunshine to bask in, a cat who has a knack for getting onto roofs (and then meowing incessantly until she's removed despite being able to get down), and April's RULES OF DEPLOYMENT when on land.

I'm going to go put the water on, grab my favorite tea, and wait for the whistle. It's been awhile since we sat down and chatted on how's life in the Wookie & Co. household. We need to catch up. :)

Umm...I fall off the blog-Earth, and I 'win' an award?

Apparently us aviation-attached bloggers gotta stick together. ;) Because seriously, who else understands the excuse of not coming home from a routine day of, "Babe, plane broke. I'm stuck in ____________ until we send a crew with parts to fix it." like the jet- and prop-ridden life of Naval aviation. :) Thanks NavyGirl!

Seriously, how does it jazz hands like that?

What’s a Liebster Award you ask?Liebster is a German word meaning dearest, and the award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers who deserve some recognition and support to keep on blogging.  It’s also a great way to discover new blogs!

Here are the rules:

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter and link back to their blog. (See above!!)
2. Share 11 things about yourself and answer the questions given. (See below!!)
3. Nominate 5 blogs that you enjoy to receive the award who have less than 200 followers, and provide them with questions to answer about themselves. (Erm....can I pass on this one?? I'm a re-virgin'd blogger, remember?)
4. Inform them of their nomination by leaving a comment on their blog.

11 Things About Me

1. My feet are still a Size 8 - and it's been this way since 8th grade. So yes, I never get rid of shoes because they don't fit; it's because I wear the shit outta them. So yay for my bank account, I guess...
2. I have a Bachelor of Arts in English, with a Minor in Writing...and have NO desire to ever be a teacher. SO STOP ASKING ME! I don't like babysitting 2 kids, why would I want to be around 30 kids? Especially when there's no Pokey to throw the rotten kids into... :)
3. I once went anorexic for a week to see what it felt like. So after a week, my clothes fit the same, but I was just cranky for not eating. Then I knew I had no dreams of being a supermodel.
4. I didn't take any pictures of Mr. Wookie's "goodbye" because I didn't feel the need to commemorate his leaving - instead I have this deep memory of his last bearhug, my head buried into his shoulder, and his arms compressing my body. There were temporary tears in my eyes as I knew this was the worst part of it all. But then I headed to work and had my mind easily busied with my workload. And now we're on the (long) downhill to another bearhug that I will document.
5. I'm midst a bad habit of not eating breakfast until I get to work. :/
6. I'm midst the good habit of enjoying a glass of red wine on my patio after work as California is finally gracing us with "California weather."
7. And then after the one glass of wine on the patio, I enjoy one with dinner while my butt is parked on the sofa watching Jeopardy.
8. I had an impromptu spur of energy on Saturday night at 8pm. It involved Michael's, a 40%-off coupon, and picking up some quilting supplies. :)
9. So yes, it's official: I'm going to attempt quilting very basic projects.
10. I've made my first deployment goal: NO FRIVOLOUS SHOPPING since I can easily walk into Target when bored and drop $75 at the register because I was bored. Tsk tsk tsk Mrs. Wookie. So for April it's only the basics: food and wine (and quilting supplies!). No Gap.com, no tall clothes, no NOTHING!
11. I briefly flirted with the idea of "No adult beverages" for April, BUT WHO ARE KIDDING?? That ain't gonna happen.

Questions for my Nominees

1. What is your earliest memory from childhood?

I was maybe 3 and it was of the ugliest wallpaper known to man: magnolias (or  something) on a bright red. Sounds beautiful, eh?

2. How do you like to celebrate your birthday?

Umm....in style?? My 30th birthday will involve NYC, shopping, museums, and hopefully purchasing a fake Chanel bag from the trunk of a car. :)

3. What is the last movie you saw in the theater?

The last movie we saw was The Hobbit.

4. How do you like your eggs?

Unfertilized. Oh, you mean chicken eggs... ;) I like 'em over medium.

5. What would you do if the Internet disappeared?  What would you miss the most?

I'd miss the bullshit entertainment: The Chive, TheFrisky.com, etc.

6. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

It depends - I can be the absolute life of the party or I can be a turtle.

7. What is your favorite family recipe?  Is there a story behind it?

No story, but it's amazing...and so very basic! It's my mom's chicken noodle casserole and my 'go-to' for MOM, MAKE ME THIS MEAL, DAMMIT!

8. What is your favorite quotation?

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Ghandi

Because anyone can bitch about changing things; but actions actually do.

9. If you were the President of the United States, what would be your first act in office?

I would order a cocktail and lounge on the South Lawn.

10. Do you know a second language?  If not, which one would you like to learn?

I can fumble through Spanish despues una margarita. :)

11. What is one household chore you actually enjoy doing?

Laundry. :) Which is something I need to do as I'm out of underwear now.

This boy left on a...well...not a jet plane.

Thank you SO MUCH for allowing some massive time away from the blog - but now that he's been gone enough time for me to get settled into, "So this is what deployment feels like?", I need to work on my LL Cool J skills...

That's right...MAKIN' A COMEBACK.

So hey, you, right there. How have you been? Have you enjoyed the lack of reading of shitty tales, drunken fables, and nights of eff-bombs? WELL I HOPE SO! Because this time we're trying to make a full-fledge'd comeback.

First off...

"Fuck!"

Phew. I got that outta the way. Nothing ever says happiness like Mrs. Wookie dropping bombs.

Oh, and that whole "This is what deployment feels like" shit....well it's just enough to keep me on edge with a semi-fervor butthole. Every couple days Murphy likes to rear her head and be like, "Bazinga!" but without the awkward giggle of Sheldon Cooper. Because that shit would never happen with Mr. Wookie around.

But let's get to re-know me better, since it's been awhile. I'm like a re-virgin'd blogger.

1. My childhood nickname was "Trashley." Yeah, then I changed schools. They barely graduated high school. I went to college...and finished. They have 3 kids, live in a trailer, and hate their life. I'm awesome. Boom.

Sucks to be them.

2. If you want to spoil me rotten, buy me a gold chain on deployment for my natural sapphire pendant that you got me for Christmas.

Mr. Wookie, ^^^ make it happpen! You read this blog on the boat. :)

3. The television character I most identify with is Robin from HIMYM with her career drive and love for suits, steaks, strippers, and rollin' with Barney, mixed with Lily since she's an actual Ginger and also met a boy in college who just wouldn't go away. ;)

4. If I had a whole day to go shopping and money to spend, I would go to (ready???)....

Gap.com

BananaRepublic.com

OldNavy.com

LongElegantLegs.com

Can you take a guess why? Oh right, I have an inseam that competes with an elephant's penis. That's why!!

5. The most wild and crazy thing I have ever done (that I can admit to publicly) is "acquired" a tiara and dozen roses that just happened to not have any owners in an establishment where beverages are served. Don't just leaaaave your shit lying around for hours. Someone will enjoy wearing it and being asked, "OMG, is this your bachelorette????????????????????" <multiple question marks necessary

No. Though if I say 'yes,' will you buy my friends a round of drinks??

Scheming new move while all the boys are deployed for free drinks. Hmmmm...

6. The one thing on my bucket list that I am most eager to do is 1.) Buy a house. 2.) Go to Scotland with Mr. Wookie. Both TBD in 2014/2015.

7. My family will always be loyal to fighting for the "trust fund." It's a bogus joke where all the kids try to out-hustle each other for top rank in the parents' saving account. Who doesn't want to be the "family favorite?"

8. If I could spend a day with a celebrity I would choose Zoey Deschanel.

9. In my opinion, the best invention in the history of the world is the tampon.

10. When life hands me lemons, I make a vodka tonic. Duhhh!

The Wookies Make-Shift POM Leave

POM Leave     noun \ˈpämˈlēv\

1.)  Acronym Definition: "Preparations for Overseas Movement"
2.)  Typical Duration: Two (2) Weeks
3.)  Not guaranteed

--------

So we're doing this...unofficially. Currently I have eye boogers, coffee breath, and the house permeates of blissful swine strips crisping to the perfect "bookmark" stiffness. And there may or may not be a feline lounging across the length of the bed since human legs have been removed and are no longer impeding her space.

And because no blog post is complete without a picture. Here's our cart from our latest mini-Costco trip. We've got the essentials for that day's meal. Margaritas (hers) and Bourbon (his), shrimp cocktail and salad (dinner), Swiffer refills, and apples. Oh, and an undocumented case of Moose Drool. Calories don't count when deployment is pending. It's just preparing for your deployment projects (i.e. working out).

Meow Monday: "Mom, seriously??"

You can't just be rescued by someone with respect for animals. No....you gotta get someone who has a pension for blogging, cocktails, and taking selfies with their hot rollers in. Someone who thinks rockin' t-shirts from college is so "in." And someone who could use some Kardashian-esque fake eyelashes...girl looks like a chemo patient. Welcome to the end of it, Mittens.

Sunday's Sweet Pea Throwback!!

 Would you believe I have to wait a whole year-plus to be the owner of another fabulous drool monster??

Don't get me wrong. Daaaaamn, I want to bring one home RIIIIIIGHT after deployment. Because reintegration would be a total blast with housebreaking another animal. And it's not like English Bulldogs create that much more laundry (bahaha!). But we're veeeeery rational, unfortunately. Our next love (canine love, that is) will be post-PCS to where ever Uncle Sam deems fit (the list is narrow though with his aircraft). So while a new English Bulldog would be the second best birthday gift ever (the first is an NYC trip with Mommy McD!), it'll be a post-settle'd in at our new zip code.

Pluuuus, the upside to leaving California - everything is cheaper. Cheaper to register her (<it'll be a girl again - we love da bitches), cheaper upkeep (food, treats, toys, vet appointments). Although there's still the need to mail Beaver gear to the new bitch, so that'll never change.

And for those who may be wondering: Will the Wookies rescue again?? This new lady is not up to me. I felllll for Miss Sweet Pea (hello, look at that face!!). This next one requires the heart strings of Mr. Wookie. And you better believe I'm going to be theeeeee most annoying housemate ever. "Can we get a dog?" "Have you researched local English Bulldog clubs yet?" "You know what's better than my meatloaf? A dog."

Seriously, most missed pet in my life!! She. was. the. shit. Cropdust? Check. Snort? Yup. And she's the reason I check #bulldogsofinstagram DAILY. I miss the short face. I miss the saggy neck-that-looks-like-a-vag. I miss the piles of drool. And I miss the Kongs. Seriously...Kongs for cats look like butt plugs. Not. so. cute. But yes, Mittens has a Kong too. That's how I know.

I feel like I should worried about this deployment.

I'm kinda at a loss for words...and not in the panic-stricken, oh my goodness, he's going into harm's way! Instead, it's the very rational thoughts that come to mind. "It's not like he's dying - he's just deploying." "This is his job." While yes, he does fly around in an aircraft that can malfunction, they do practice their "ditching" regularly (it's not like a jet where you just pull a cord and you're ejected into safety, they require the hatch to be pulled <think school bus roof exit), and there are issues that can claim his life. Buuuut that shit can easily happen on land as it can at sea. So why should I worry on deployment when he can easily push daisies when 30 minutes from home??

As a "member" of the "Knives Group," thankfully I'm privy to all sorts of information as we prepare for this fun time of sequestration meets deployment. How long will they actually be gone? *cue laughing* And thankfully, we have plenty of salty wives who have many boat stints under their belt who can help us n00bs get our shit together before they actually fly-out (probably at like 6:00am, because tears of goodbye are always better with crusty lashes and bad breath).

There's the HAVE YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEYS!, HAVE YOUR FELLOW LADIES ON SPEED DIAL!, HAVE A NOTE IN YOUR WALLET STATING YOU'RE A NAVAL OFFICER'S WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AND TO PLEASE CONTACT YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER'S WIFE! Okay, that's sound advice right there. If I'm maimed, calling an 850 number that's turned off and in the bunk of the USS Awesome won't get you anywhere.

And there's the "Let's make awesome care packages for the squadron!"

Screech....umm...what??

CARE PACKAGES!

Ohhhhh.....riiiiight. Care packages. Those things which explode scrapbooking paper, cake in jars (<the only cool thing I've seen), candy, cards, pictures, magazines, probably hidden dirty pictures, and a lot of USPS mailing boxes. I assume they're helpful for those in the sandpits of the Middle East where gunfire is the norm, showers are probably rare, and all I think about is The Hurtlocker. But that's not exactly our situation. He's in the Navy...on a boat. Yes, gunfire at the aircraft can and does happen. Yes, planes explode right on the flight deck! There are hazards even with a Naval deployment, but it's just not the same. Plus...my inner "male thinking" comes to mind. You're in the military...deployments are what you do. You want me to send you care packages when you're just doing your job? Insert reader comments about how non-caring I am. It's not that I don't care - I just can't get into the glitter, jazz hands, and undying need to send things.

And thankfully we've had the discussion about Do you want them once a month? What do you want them to contain? Do I even need to do them?

We've agreed - they'll be sent as needed. Should he run out of jerky, magazines for the toilet (although he has a damn tablet, so what else do you need?), deoderant, good underwear, and who knows what else.....I'll send out a non-decorated box to his need. Because why spend money on decoration when it's just going in the trash? And of course, there will be the obligatory ones: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 'MERICA!! (4th of July), HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY ON THE BOAT! (2 years in a row), Happy Start of Oregon State Football Season 2013, and HOLY SHIT, NYC FOR MY 30TH WAS AMAZEBALLS. :)

And the potential deployment date (I say 'potential' because we are amidst sequestration) is on the calendar and now within reach. It used to be months away, and then before we were even close, was pushed back farther than an elephant's gestational period. Seriously...your time has come...DEPLOY ALREADY. I want my gift (*coughJadeearringscough*). Mr. Wookie has been in the Navy since 2007 and has yet to see an actual deployment - do you know what it's like compared to fellow aviators? Most have seen (on average) 2 real deployments (not detachments or surges, but the 6-7+ month kind). And here we are....over 2.5 years into a sea tour....without a tour of the sea. He's ready. The squadron is ready. Port calls, Lord have Mercy.

So maybe it's the green behind my ears, or maybe I'm just being my ol' ration self (seriously, welcome back Mrs. Wookie!), but this is not the end of the world. It may be for my liver...but you can always get a new one (hello, that Apple guy totally bought new body parts on the Black Market)! Life will be the same here. I'll wake up each morning, race out the door to work, over-stress in my department (sales and marketing), and then come home for my dinner-for-one and bottle-each-night of wine. Shower, rinse, repeat.

And yesssss, that whole 'fuck, I'm bored already' has been fixed. Two words: weekend projects. There's that chair to recover still (I'm telling you, I was in an absolute FUNK with our dog dying), I'm going to make a custom wreath for our front door so I can take off the Christmas one (redneck? yup!), there's a few Pinterest projects which will take some time and energy (shhhhh!!), I have family visiting for a long weekend in May, there are beach trips to be had, sunscreen to be lathered, Oregon to be visited in July, less sunscreen lathered then, and a shit-ton of library trips.

How did I find such a lucky match to my non-typical housemate thought process? I don't know.

Happy Pending Deployment, babe! Now remember: Non-nickel earrings....kthanksnowbye!

Throwback Thursday: Mittens, 4 Months

She was such a cute little girl, between her spams of energy to want to ping around the freakin' room and the instant-nap she'd take once the energy level was depleted. She'd nap everywhere. On my neck, in my lap, halfway on a chair, in the sunlight coming through the window, next to the turtle tank when she realized they weren't lunch, on a pillow on the bed, or in the hall bathroom's empty tub (curtain drawn). Kitten phase...not my favorite...sooo looking forward to cathood.

Thoughts: We hope this is a hoax.

[source: Mr. Wookie's squadron's CMC-operated Facebook page]

If you're familiar with this blog, you know we're attached to the aviation community. And if you're familiar with the nerd-based aviation community, you know the above image is of a E-2 Hawkeye - the Navy's Early Air Warning plane capable of locating enemy surface vessels, sub-surface vessels, whales, and (when needed) stranded boaters on life rafts.

As I may know more than the news outlets do, and that knowledge may or may not technically allowed, I know it was a semi-somber night last night as the search was called off, the flight crew de-briefed, and the little light at the end of tunnel of finding them grew dim. Mr. Wookie needed a Scotch on the rocks. Only idiots are supposed to die when they do something stupid; not kids. So with the above story that the SOS call may be a hoax - we can only hope.

But at the end of the day, Mr. Wookie did his job and if there was a boat - he would have found it. But there wasn't a boat. Per the news reports, there was only supposed to be a life ring and a cooler...that's it. 4 people clinging for life...attached to a cooler...and a life ring.

Mr. Wookie did find 2 whales - but that was it.

So we can only hope that the rescue call was a hoax, and the worse thing about it is the individual responsibility has deep pockets to pay back the high coasts of search and rescue missions. Because now we know the feelings of what it's like for search and rescue to not find those in need - it stinks.

MEOW MONDAY: Leg Lounge Lizard

We've found out a few things in owning this furry feline for almost a year of her life (<< birthday party, so soon!). She was very shy at first few days of life. She cried at night when she couldn't find her siblings (which broke my heart and also befuddled me since reports were that she wasn't too snuggle with them). But then I became her friend, confidante, and lover as she would come to me when called, would stake out my legs for a good nap spot, and began sleeping more through the night vs wanting to play (5am is now her Time to go outside and try to kill some shit which is perfectly acceptable).

And because you needn't doubt my "Oh shit, is she morphing into a Cat Lady????," yes...yes I am.

We've switched from regular ol' cat litter to World's Best Cat Litter, since it's drastically more eco-friendly (Hey, Mrs. Wookie, back on your crazy enviro soapbox! Yay!) and there's been links of respiration issues via standard cat litter which blew. my. mind. Cats step in litter. Cats leave litter box. Cats bathe their feet and ingest nasty-ass litter. What will they think of next? Sex causes babies? Vodka soothes souls?

So please continue to worry. First, you worried as my life fell apart with the loss of our dog. Now, you can worry as I Google "modern cat condos" hoping Ikea will deliver something that will ramp up my Cat Lady status up a few notches.

This totally counts as doing something today.

What better way to avoid more laundry than to update the blog and my umpteenth promise for more??

I just feel like bitching today (yup, we're making a comeback!)

Where Are The Skirts??
Hi, I'm Mrs. Wookie. Hi.

Long story short: I live in California. I fully expect stores to provide adequate weather when "winter" is 50-degrees at the coldest. The sun was out today and most likely above 70 degrees (and I work 15 miles from the beach, so we're not even inland). Again, pants aren't a necessity. So why can't stores offer cute skirts year-round?

And should be scratching your head about gangly me fitting in "off the rack" skirts....that's the one piece of clothing I can buy at Target, etc (other than the obvious: socks, underoos, etc.). So skirts I will love forever and mix-and-match my heart apart.

That Whole USS Truman Issue
I would have completely mixed emotions. While I know there are people being frazzled by the What the frack? conundrum, I don't know how I would respond - probably disdained. I mean, hello...there are port calls those sailors deserve. There are vendors those sailors need to hustle. And there are jade earrings (if they hit that certain area *ahem*) that need to make the voyage home for the ripe price of $32.

I do feel for the single sailors who pack up all their shit, pay a friend to use their address to collect BAH, sell their car...then they're left shit-less except for a bag and a guest room at the Wookie & Co. Inn (I would have NO problem housing Mr. Wookie's fellow Junior Officers as most are housebroken and could easily figure out their next move with the community we're in).

Although that would remove my large debate about visiting during a port call. As a Navy attache, I feel like I should be gunning for an exotic trip watching the USS Awesome pull into port, spending 92 hours with Mr. Wookie, and watching the boat pull away for more time on the seas. But then the very-practical Mrs. Wookie questions Why? the need to spend thousands of dollars, staunchly reminding herself that I'm not some needy Navy attache who needs justification for this awkward military lifestyle we're all in.

I've been asked numerous times by the CO and XO if I plan on joining "the wives" for a visit should they pull in to Australia, Thailand, Dubai, etc., and with each time I politely explain, "probably not." What's better: spending $2,500 for 4 days with Mr. Wookie OR spending $4,000 for a 10-day vacation planned in advance, not centered around classified ship movements praying that the boat can pull in and leave is granted??

My Sad Blog
Warning: Face lifts and botox may occur on the blog front. That's all.

The Wine Sale at Bevmo
Do you Bevmo? For East Coaster, it's like Total Wine. Everytime, it's like crack. I. can't. not. buy.

Jeopardy > State of the Onion (<yes, "Onion")
No offense, but expanding my brain will always take place over political speeches. No matter what affiliation, there are some cunning linguists (minus G. W. Bush - he was just the worse...plus he choked on a pretzel) and everyone can have great words. But let's just continue to push the country, voting for your decisions, and respecting the outcomes.

Though the comments sections are THE best part of politics. Only there will 45-year-olds reduce to name-calling like children...and I will chuckle my heart out.

Mr. Wookie
Will he be home in the next week? Will the planes not be broken? Will he be the last to leave (as usual)?

That Big Deployment
As much as I want him to come home, I know that the D-Day is lingering just off the shore of tomorrow. We prepare like it's still on schedule, but really - who knows what will happen. There's only so much you can do about functioning ships, the bigger picture Navy, and whether the Deployment Gods feel you need those earrings.

Meow Monday

This little feline has a BIG birthday coming up in the next month-plus, so I'm busy scouring online for Crazy Cat Lady ideas to throw her a birthday party of catnip, a super small party hat, and some tuna fish.

Now: Mrs. Wookie's Pre-Deployment Realization

Le sigh. I'm bored.

Mr. Wookie is Day #9 gone to NAS BFE for their last stint of pre-deployment training and I've hit the "I"m bored" realization already. Crap. He's not even deployed yet. And you think with all the dates (August, October, November, December, January....soon) that have come since we first arrived 2.5 years about deployment, that I would have figured this out by now.

Wrong.

My mom recommends a pick up more sewing projects and maybe start quilting (which I have dabbled in research for a pattern that won't make me look Amish). However, I'd have to ensure I only have one glass of wine since sewing is better in straight lines.

Thanks to Amazon, I picked up some good deals on jigsaw puzzles over his 2-plus months of Summer 2012 pre-deployment training, but those got boring after awhile...all the pieces look similar (despite the wine). Plus the cat really likes the thought of batting around 500 pieces....and that was more battle than anything.

And I even had the thought of, "Hey, go back to school and get another minor or a certification that can be used at your current job and for any future job searches (since that is common with Mr. Wookie's career choice). But then I saw the costs....

...a post-bacc online minor (28 credits) in Marketing and Entrepreneurship with Oregon State University's College of Business is $7,000+! Seven thousand. Plus some. Umm...no thanks - that's just not an investment I'm willing to make since the rate of return is probably pretty low. I'll keep my current Bachelor's and Minor, thankyouverymuch.

And I'm wary of online schools (like Devry) because I don't know honestly how they're thought of by  hiring companies - to me, they seem kind of fake and unaccredited despite saying "accredited."

So ladies, help a soon-to-be-homefire-keeper out!

I. need. some. projects. And more than the ones I've perfected: wine tasting and dinners with friends. ;)

So far my Pinterest board of "Deployment Projects" only has the below...

[source]

Le sigh. This is going to be a long summer/fall. And yes, blogging is on that list too. Promise.