If I could put a song on repeat.

Drake ~ Hold On We're Going Home from OctobersVeryOwn on Vimeo.

I'm in love with this song. If I could lay in bed, after a glass of wine, and have it never stop...I would. I repeated the words in my head at my desk all day deep in my work.

It resonates in me.

I just want to drive to the hangar, wait the unbelievable amount of time for the planes to arrive, welcome Mr. Wookie home from a fly-in, and feel the biggest hug in my life.

But instead, the Donut of Misery lays in a perpetual state of "We don't know."

So I listen to this song as it propels me through.

I accidentally cuddled with my partner-in-deployment-crime last weekend. It was an honest mistake. I rolled over in the middle of the night. I felt a sharp elbow into my face. I thought nothing of it. I brushed the elbow aside and continued my sleep next to the warm body enveloped by my bed. I recalled the last night Mr. Wookie had in the old place; the night before he deployed. I barely slept, yet I slept so deep. The last time I'd be comfortable next to his billowing body, I sunk into his scent next to me. Yet I was jarred awake last weekend when I realized the body next to me is fully feminine and missing the same in life (her boyfriend is Mr. Wookie's bunk-mate on the USS Ship Happens).

So tonight I finish the wine bottle split with the same friend. I put the leftovers away for lunch another day. And I keep hitting repeat of this song. Eventually I'll be able to say, "Just hold on, we're going home."