- Instill a running buddy to share your pain/fun, meet them for long runs with their stroller, bring them donuts for fuel, and gab over a smoothie with post-run boob sweat making all the cool kids jealous.
- Own 2 sports bras, have 1 crap out with 2 weeks to go, so wash the only functioning sports bra after every run and pray it will make it until you can order more.
- Attend a Bail on the Friday night before a Sunday morning half marathon.
- Swear you're only going to have a couple beverages at the Bail. Lie to yourself. Have a few more. Get TACKLED like a linebacker by one of the JOPA. Dance your ASS OFF to tunes. Swear yourself away from the cigar smoke, believing one small secondhand whiff will defeat your training. Jump like a Masai warrior to Lady Gaga.
- Realize you need to get home, it's late, so you stop drinking around Midnight. The party doesn't stop for another few more hours, leaving you ample time to sober up and realize, "Shit, I'm running on Sunday."
- Panic amidst sleep because of this decision.
- Decide "Fuck it." Bails are important. Bail are huge functions that occur when squadron mates have orders for their next duty station. They're exalted, then mocked, then gifted with flair for their next tour. Then mayhem may or may not break out.
- Get extra sleep to make up for it. Drug and heat pad your lower back since the tackle seemed to take it's toll. And drink nothing but water to help hydrate because you're a "serious" runner after all. Or at least a runner who realizes her role and the importance of a cohesive Navy squadron.
- Pray to God and the Angels of Running that my right knee holds it together. I don't know whether it's an IT band issue or "Runner's Knee," but Thursday's 2 miles of taper brought back the ache on the side that I felt during our 11.5-mile run a couple weeks back.
- Receive a disastrous text from Running Buddy. Due to changes in weekend work schedules with our squadron (Mr. Wookie included), her husband isn't available to watch their kids. She offers a FREAKIN' kidney to score a last-minute sitter. No dice.
- Hold back tears when you realize you're running alone.
- Offer your trunk space, Goldfish crackers, capri suns, and chloroform as an alternative babysitter so Running Buddy doesn't waste 3 months of training.
- Find a giant spatula to scrape my shit together. Many people run alone. Runners are friendly. I have tunes. I will be fine. I think.
Start slow. Taper off from there. Hydrate afterwards.
That sucks for you and Running Buddy! I hope all goes well. While you're hydrating after the race eat a banana, too. Good luck!
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