Monday, June 6

O2O Half Marathon: I came, I ran, I conquered

Nay to running alone. NO ONE came to the rescue to watch Running Buddy's kids since the squadron decided to WONK up everyone's schedule. I even offered to throw an extra $20 at ANYONE who'd watch the kids. No dice.

Nay to the "photographer" who took my pre-race picture. I had to crop myself to center. The poor guy shot mostly the background overpass. Skilled...I tell ya.

Nay to the bathroom 'sitch at the start. Per the Race Director, he paid the City to open the bathrooms. They failed. They'll be receiving a NastyGram courtesy of Mrs. Wookie. Even though I didn't have to even pee, the City needed to be on their game.

Yay to the eco-conscious theme of the race. Everything was e-communicated.

Nay to only 2 water stations.

Nay to double-loop routes. Yes, you hit those 2 water stations twice, but it wasn't enough.

Yay to carrying my own water bottle. Suckas!

Nay to mile 8.5. You nearly were the death of me. You nearly made me DNF/DOR (did not finish/drop on request). I about called it quits.

Yay to having balls that said, "Suck it you up whiny piece of shit, you're over halfway done."

Nay to my Clif shotblocks not opening. Amidst running, and trying to chew open the container, it wouldn't budge. This nearly spiraled me into a fit of tears. What can I say? I was a little emotional apparently.

Yay to my knee not having any issues! Thank you God and Running Angels!

Nay to losing complete sensation in my right calf with a mile left. That was weird.

Yay to free gel on the course. I then threw it at my car when I passed it on the loop.

Nay to forgetting about the gel that I threw at my car and drove off post-race without it.

Yay to the medal being recycled metal product. Yay, go green!

Yay to Mr. Wookie finding my sunglasses the night before - they had been missing!

Nay to being lapped at exactly 5.65 miles. Fucking elites.

Nay to the sun breaking through and launching the temperature.

Nay to being stricken with stomach rot post-race. I wasn't pretty. It took a shower, a heating pad, and a 4-hour nap to semi-cure me of feeling like I had a symbiote forcing it's way from behind my liver.

Yay to Running Buddy capturing the moment of my kick to the finish line!

Yay to "Hey Running Buddy, make sure my legs look skinny in this picture." Done.

Yay to hitting my time goal of sub-2:30. Official race time: 2:25:22. Mother effin' ya!!!

And yay to a glorious 9 hours of sleep last night. Boom-chaka-laka! Mother effin' rested!


  1. Mother effin' ya indeed! Congrats! That's awesome - you rule, but you already knew that.

  2. Daaaaaamn! You ALMOST make me want to be a runner. But all those "nays" weighed me back down onto the couch. Anywho, CONGRATS on your time & completion :)

  3. I'm proud of you. Go you. Woo woo.

    Seriously, though.

  4. I am mother-effin' impressed, yo. I also appreciate the fact that reading about running, to me, is just as good as actually doing it. It's better, in fact. Thank you for allowing me to get my exercise vicariously so I can skip ahead to the part where one drinks in celebration of one's accomplishment. ;-)

  5. You're such a badass. I run like a dying chicken!

  6. You destroyed your goal! Awesome.

    2 water stops passed twice is terrible - sounds like Diamond Valley Half where I decided not to take my fuel belt. Never again.

    The medal looks cute! And nice finishing kick there - I'll bet you can knock more off that 2:25 time.

  7. Awesome time! Congratulations. :) I shall have a beer in your honor.