When Spousebuzz makes ya think.

I wrote this last week and now apparently have the ball to push 'publish.' Eeeek...I'm kinda nervous. Oh boy...


Do you rank judge? Point blank, do you? What if you say yes? What if you are lying to yourself and say 'no?' What if your honest - will be people subsequently judge you for judging? All these things swirl my mind with SpouseBuzz's recent article on being rankist.


I'll be honest - this article struck a cord with me.


But before I throw you under the bus, let me answer the questions myself. Do I judge rank? Well...sometimes. In the military, sometimes people get promoted when they shouldn't. You're left scratching your head about 'Umm...really?' Maybe you didn't see what the deciding factor was, but there are times where I'm not sure if they're meant for that next pay grade - so yes, I judge.


Where this article went was someplace different - it went there. The place were the demarcation between Enlisted family and Officer family should resemble the DMZ. Where "all" Enlisted wives are 20, lazy, immature, and squanderers of the paycheck and "all" Officer wives coat-tailed their way out of college in search of pedicures every Friday and the notion 'they're better than everyone else.' Because those are all true, right?


Because you'll never meet an Enlisted wife with something to say, who's chasing her own dreams of college and a career, who's husband is Sailor of the Year, and they're doing just fine. Just like you'll never meet an Officer's wife who happened to meet him before he thought of the Navy, who's willing to stay behind for her own career as her husband Geo-Bachelor's for a year some place far off, and they're doing just fine.


As someone attached to Mr. Wookie - who just happens to be an Officer - I can say that I  like to keep an open mind between the ranks. Yes, I'm happy to follow a lot of Enlisted family blogs. And yes, I read a few Officer blogs. In the realms of the Officership, there's not many of 'us.' And I mean 'us' by the fact that there really aren't a lot of awesome blogs that just happen to feature a CaveWookie in a flight suit. And when you think about the blogs that don't sign off as "Mrs. Lovin' the Meal Ticket," there are even few humble (and hilarious) blogs I'd bother read.


I'd like to think of myself as someone who breaches those lines of stigma, someone who will be kind, help out, and wish the best of luck to a fellow military-attached lady facing PCS, deployment, or home renovations. Because there's nothing saltier than a girlfriend/wife of 10+ years, more deployments than I have fingers on one hand, and the ability to pour a health serving of wine - and then recommend which teeth whitening systems will remove those wine stains after a 10-month deployment (because do share!).


I love and adore (and read) a plethora of blogs because I love the people and don't care whether their husbands are E-1, a girlfriend of an aviator (hey!!), Chiefs, striving for STA-21, the wife of a Major, Sailor of the Year, ERBing out, or content with their OCONUS station. They're human beings who deserve the same respect no matter what type of insignia is on their collar.


I'm just curious if I'm alone in this sentiment. As an Officer's long-time domestic partner, I don't know how people feel about the generic Officer's attached ladies. I don't know if we're all thought of evil snatches. I don't know if I'm thought of as an exception since we're not married so I'm not "meal ticketing" it up. I don't know if people feel awkwardness commenting on my blog because of my 'status' - or if they feel like I'm going out of my way when I comment on theirs. Truth: I comment on blogs I love to read - I've said it a million times. When you bore me, I'll stop following. If you're hilarious and awesome, you've got me. And if you rig a giveaway so I'll win, I'll probably give you a kidney. And at least a cocktail. Oh yeah, I don't know if people take my alcoholic humor to heart. No, I don't need rehab. Yes, I love a good glass of wine after a rough day at work. But my habits only involve cocktails every other night or so. There's no IV of Stoli...yet. Talk to me during deployment.


Although I will be completely honest - I used to be a massive stick-up-my-ass ROTC girlfriend. I used to think Enlisted were not worthy. I used to think even the "Officer Candidates" were chump change because they didn't do ROTC in the first place. Because apparently a ROTC girlfriend knows EVERYTHING. Oh, silly, silly me. I can't regret those thoughts enough because I know they make me look like a mega snatch. Thankfully I've found wisdom in graduating, experiencing long distance, reuniting, coming to terms with Uncle Sam, enjoying Mr. Wookie's career, and the life I thought was sooo glamorous a mere 5 years ago. Although it never helps when the public persona of a Naval Officer pumps it up to be kitten whiskers and angel farts. In reality, it's no big deal.


If I had to 'rank' myself, it would still be noob. While we've been attached for 8+ years, mildly associated with the Navy for equal time, we've yet to experience "the suck." So until I can paint a stripe on my deployment board, I've yet to earn my salt. Although it might not be a good idea to make me salty. Because I might just ask for tequila to go with it. And of course, a lime wedge.