Saturday, September 3

Fall is for effing. Football, friends, and family.

We scoured the Labor Day sales this morning at Sears, Lowe's, and Home Depot and came home empty handed. Wah wah wah. We were ready to drop some debit card action on patio furniture and a firepit, but nothing was calling our name with a fantastic price. In the land of perpetual sunshine and sales tax in California, you'd think they'd have never-ending supplies of outdoor furniture. There's never been a bad week of weather since we've been here, and we're still stuck with our camping chairs on our patio. CALIFORNIA, WE'RE HERE TO SPEND MONEY. GIVE US SOMETHING TO SPEND MONEY ON. YOU HAVE A SHITTY ECONOMY, LET US STIMULATE IT. CRIMANY!

No, I haven't started drinking yet. This is just a year's worth of aggravation where we haven't found any patio furniture that tickles are fancy. What are we looking for? 2 comfortable chairs, with ottomans/foot rests, and a cocktail table between the chairs. Sounds simple...but it's not. This is apparently unreasonable for local shops to provide. Instead they have 12-seat outdoor dining tables.

So we can home empty and then were forced to sign up online to watch our beloved alma mater play some football.

While my family of Baby Sister and the Sheriff (and our family friend April on the left) are attending the game as Season Ticket Holders, us in SoCal (Middle Sister & Husband included) have to resource to paying an online service to watch our team. Grunt.

Okay, I guess's your $10. Glad we saved that money with the doormat! So our set-up is now Mr. Wookie's laptop streaming to the television so we can see with our beer goggles on (just fact, I'm drinking water right now - I'm a little parched from a run this morning). But with the current game conditions, I may HAVE to start drinking.

But in all this action, someone's feeling a little neglected. Something with 4 legs, pees like a boy, crop dusts like a man, and wears a hot pink collar.

Much better. Scratch my head.

At least someone's nub is wagging in happiness. My tail won't wag until after we start putting more points on the board and finally show up as a Division 1 football team. Story of my football team's life.

But that's why our school's motto is, "Win or lose, we still booze." Optimism either way.

1 comment:

  1. Ok, this title seriously cracked me up. I love effing.