Wednesday, February 15

Yup, those are tampons in my cart.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm wired the way I am. Why my cynicism is so strong, how I couldn't give a bigger bird poop on a Ferrari about Whitney Houston, and why I'm so stubborn against gender roles...I have no idea. But I'm not complaining at all. I like being independent. I can care for myself. I can make my own money. And I have a boy that knows I'm not after his paycheck, the lifestyle, or child support. All I really want is a trust fund, but barking up that tree just leaves you with a sore throat.

I was on my lunch break yesterday. I'm fortunate to work 12 miles from my home. So with that, there are some lunch breaks that I take advantage of and do a little grocery shopping at the nearby Vons to help make better time of my daily schedule. Yesterday was kinda that day - although the need was something a bit more pressing and unedible. Yup, it was purchasing those lady items.

There's been only one recorded time in the history of Wookie & Co., that'd I'd ask Mr. Wookie to pick up those unmentionable items that men shan't dare view, touch, nor purchase. Really, guys!?!? I'd be willing to pick up any remedy for a boy (whether athlete's foot, jock itch, or back waxing strips - not that I've had purchase those - those are just the items I think of when it comes to dudes....), but stop the blog presses should a guy pick up a darn box o' tampons (ensuring it's the brand AND size she wants).

I remember girls in high school, and even college, being sooooo embarrassed with buying tampons, mattress pads (known as maxi pads), and everything else meant for the nether regions. Seriously. Buck up, ladies. It happens. Which is worse: buying tampons or cigarettes?? Hello, tampons actually help, don't cause tuberculosis, and are cheaper than a cigarette habit.

So yesterday in all my glory, I throw (literally) the goods on the conveyor belt. I wait patiently for the woman in front of me trying to return her sacks of groceries otherwise the check would bounce (and I shifted between feeling sorry for the girl, since I don't know the back story, and feeling like she should realize you can't return items without a receipt - for all they know you stole the stuff!). But then she got the clue that a Ginger on her lunch break was trying to buy items of necessity and got out of my way.

Cashier looks at goods on belt. "So how is your day?"

I wrestled with how to answer that...Crampy? Just peachy? Avoiding babies like the plague? Why don't you carry Playtex Ultra? You wouldn't happen to have any chocolate would you? You really should stock wine near the tampon aisle, just sayin'... I'm on my lunch break buying tampons, how do you think I am??



  1. hahahahahaha! Love it.

    Have you heard of the diva cup? You seem like the kind of person who wouldn't get grossed out by it. (That's meant to be a compliment! haha)

  2. I HATE when stores don't carry Playtex Ultra. Seriously. Tampax are the devil.

  3. I'll let in on a secret you can try in the future. Ready? Tell the tampon-phobic male: no more BJs until you man up and head to the store for tampons every time I ask. Works like a charm, I haven't heard one peep about buying tampons for the last 7 years.