Thursday, July 22

So remember that time I went to the UK??

Oh ya, so long ago, right?  OH, it was only a week ago that you were getting back?  Yes, yes it was.  And it was great.  In fact, I could have kept going another 2 weeks I like Scotland that much.  If only I could have found a laundromat because by the day we flew out, all clean clothes were dirty.  How's that for efficient?  Some people didn't fair as well.

So here's my screen after I've boarded my big ass plane in DC for across the Pond.  After my failed attempt at sleep on my last red eye flight, this one is making me equally nervous.  Who likes to sleep sitting up?  Minus narcoleptics?  That and the pilot was on such a kick that we got in an hour early...oh ya, this guy didn't know that I still had a few hours to wait until the rest of my family arrived from their coast.  Thanks ass clown.

But with the help of my travel pillow, my Cincinatti Bengals blanket, and my Half Marathon finisher shirt, I cozied up the best I could in "Economy Plus."  Because those extra 6-8 inches could help world peace.  At least with the tall tribes.  Unfortunately the guy next to me (an engineer from UVA, engineer = not a conversant) watched movies the whole trip.  Yay peace and quiet.  For a little bit.  Until one ass cheek goes numb then it's time to switch sides.

Dinner was impressive as I actually got a salad with dinner.  Yay, kinda healthy!

And some very tasty Balsamic dressing.  I actually would buy this in the store it was so good.  Oh, "Dear United, please send me the purchasing info!"

 But let's talk about Customs, shall we?  Oh, yes!  First off, Customs was a BREEZE in Heathrow.  Maybe this is due to the fact that we were practically the first international flight in for the day.  First flight = no lines. 12 minutes and I was outta there!  Oh, but it gets better.  So on my customs card I failed to write down where we were staying the first night, because I didn't know.  Oh, I'll just leave it blank.  They totally won't care.  Okay, to be honest, I didn't know what we were doing.  The Sheriff had planned the whole trip.  My job was to just show up.

Customs Official: "So I see that you haven't written down your address for this evening.  Where will you be staying?"
Me: "I don't know."
Customs: "Okay, are you staying with family."
Me: "Oh, yes!"
Customs: "Oh, okay, so your family lives here."
Me: "Oh, no.  They're flying in from California."
Customs: "Okay, so are you staying in a hotel in London?"

Me: "Umm, I actually don't know.  My dad planned everything, I'm just showing up."

Cue panic.  OMG, what if they think I'm some Gingy terrorist who's wanting to blow up all midget stores?  Or what if they think I'm a stripper by the name of Glitter wanting to upstage Dita Von Teese?  I've heard about these stories!  They're going to lock me in quarantine until my family gets here then interrogate us like Slavic nationals!

But I think they guy felt pity for me.  Poor Ging, her genes are totally being wiped out by stronger genetics.  Give her kind like 30 years before their extinct.  That'll teach them to travel to England without proper customs cards!

So I was finally granted freedom to enter their great country.  And by that I mean I still had to wait another 3-4 hours for the rest of the family to show up before our entourage was complete.  I could have ventured out then.  I could have gone shopping in the airport.  I could have indulged in a breakfast scone and cup of coffee while waiting for them.  Instead I just sat there.  So freakin' tired my eye balls were practically falling outta their sockets.  Red eyes are the devil.  I'd read some of my book, then head-bob so hard I had the opposite of whiplash.  And this lasted and lasted and lasted.  Then finally when I was about to impale myself on a coffee stir stick, the family finally graced their way through the arrivals gate.  Finally...I need a drink.

From the airport, we took the shuttle to the rental car company to pick up our ride.  It was a minivan.  But not an American minivan.  A Euro minivan!  It was sooo freakin' cute.  I could totally rock one.  In my 30's.  After I have kids and decide that I'm not longer capable of rockin' my little blue Asian-mobile.

Picture stolen from Middle Sister's Facebook

 Watch out: Tuning forks ahead.

But we made it from the airport to our hotel without any serious injuries resulting from driving on the other side of the road.  Those first 30 minutes were hairy though.  I won't lie.  Although I was sitting bitch in the backseat.  So I would have survived any accident. :)

But as you know us, you know a beverage is in order to help regulate the senses and reduce tension, stress, and jet lag.  I've done my research.  Trust me.

And should you not be able to read the fine print, this is a bottle of Crater Lake's finest vodka.  Yes, Oregon's Crater Lake.  The national park.  The national wonder.  Now, the national distillery.  Hey, don't judge.  Just because we like to support our local economy. ;)

Middle Sister was all for a drink, however made the quick pass back to the Sheriff when it was determined that there was just way too much vodka in it.  Weak sauce.

Apparently this drink was much more her liking.

But after a relaxing beverage, we were all feeling the need to shove food down the hatch.

With dinner we enjoyed this fine English brew known as Tetley's with my garbanzo bean and sweet potato burger.  The burger was okay, the "crisps" were delicious, but the beer was awesome.  And with that we walked back to the hotel and crashed.  Hard.  My parents fell asleep with the TV blaring, shoes still on, and on top of the covers.  I had at least gotten outta the shower, put on PJ's, had my hair in a turbin, before I crashed for the night.  We all woke up around 9am wondering what the hell just happened.  Jet lag is a bitch.

So after we found breakfast for the morning and got ourselves moving, we packed up and headed out.  Nomadic style.  The first few days were one-sleep stays.  Just enough to unpack your bathroom container then throw everything back in.

Next Stop: That Pile O' Rocks (Stonehenge)!


  1. Yay! I love it! Can't wait to read the next installment. Only now, I'm obsessing about the UK. Must.Go.Visit.Soon. It's killin' me!!

  2. OMG random story. When I flew to London with my family a few years ago we got stuck in that middle section with the four seats no one wants to sit in. Equally lame, the folks put my sister and I in the middle seats of the middle row.

    Since I HATE to fly I took my usual Zanex. And then there was free wine so I was all, "YES PLEASE". But you see, Zanex and wine, equal DRUNK. And then since it was a red eye and we wanted to be sure to sleep, my mom handed out the eye patches and ear plugs and the SLEEPING PILLS.

    Needless to say I was so fucked up I couldn't sit upright and slid into my sisters lap the whole flight and was physically unable to support the weight of my head. This of course made sure she got NO sleep so that by the time we landed she was so wigged out from fighting me all night she was violently sick in the train.

    BASICALLY this story is to tell you that I am an amazing flying companion and you should take me to London with you next time so I can keep you awake and make you sick.

    OMG novel in the comments section...