Friday, August 17

So, Mrs. Wookie, how was Middle Sister's wedding last summer?

So you know Wookie & Co. have a strict protocol when it comes to weddings.

a.) It's better if we don't have to crash it, so invite us. But only invite us if we don't have to sit at Table 9 with the family rejects. We do best in our habitat (other alcohol-related people), and enjoy the availability of good food (please no Cheez-Whiz and crackers).

b.) We. like. the. beverages. How else will we get up there and dance? Plus, how else will we find the "need" to find the ladies' room juuuuust about the same time as the bouquet toss.

c.) DO NOT FATHER/DAUGHTER DANCE TO "Butterfly Kisses." I will murder a baby.

d.) DO NOT HAVE THE READING OF "2 Corinthians..." I will murder an elderly person.

Yes, there are more, but these are the important ones. So Accidentally Olympian, take note!


  1. You make me literally bust out chuckles. 'Butterfly Kisses'? Frickin' priceless!

  2. Also... fully discuss what the wedding officiant is going to say - because you don't want some awkward moment where your MOH is willing you to say Purple, but every single person in the church knows you're going to say orange.

    Also, butterfly kisses... gag.

  3. Haha. First of all, I HATE arranged seating. This is why I refuse to do it at my wedding. Seat yourselves you damn heathens!

    Also, I plan to have a booze canoe. Yes, you heard me. A canoe filled with lovely Oregon beers. Yes, I know you're drooling now.

    And, there will be no butterfly kisses father/daughter dancing. No no no no. My family's anthem is "save a horse ride a cowboy." Yes, my entire family has a dance. Yes, we will do this drunkenly at my wedding and scare Adam's side of the family.

    Also, my wedding comes with games. Badminton, corn hole, the game where you try to knock the beer bottle off the stick with a Frisbee. So much awesome.

    And lastly, bible WHAT? I do not know this bible you speak of. I will be writing our religion free ceremony, which will be read by my goofy uncle.

    You totally want an invite now, don't you?

    1. Sounds like the kind of wedding people actually want to go to!