Sunday, August 5

What helps pass the time? The other ladies missing their men.

I will tell the story a million times over, other wives will agree with me, a "Wives Group" will not break your soul. If it's full of catty women, back-stabbers, and "thunder cunts," then no one will blame you for not partaking in the "fun."

But then what happens when all the ladies are dreamy, drink red wine like it's going out of style, have kids but respect your decision to not procreate at this time, and welcome you into their home for dinners, drinks, movies, cry fests, complaining, Bunco, book club, birthdays, bitch-fests....did I miss anything?? makes the world a special place.

As the lone longtime-domesticated girlfriend (and advocate for sans-kids get-togethers which are met with cheers since the slogan is "Time away from my kids makes me a Happy Mom"), I'm accepted into this group as one of their own. While it takes a little more effort to get to base than other non-base dwellers, I'm always happy to join in on the fun whether a family-friendly picnic or wine drinking out on the town.

We've done everything from progressive dinners, to wine tastings, to movie nights, book clubs, and a few even helped me score that elusive Victorian chair that'll face a remodel later this year (let's just say Mama Ging is coming to visit - so I've got her name alll in helping me).

One thing I don't like: People who 'go home' for detachments/deployments. While visiting is one thing, there's something else about being "left behind" that I find strengthening to your soul. That and I'm one of the few who's still holding strong to the bullshit-ic thought that I can have a real 'career' while popping around the country after Mr. Wookie. While I may not make promotions because I leave too soon, dammit, I'm going to keep chasing my next resume addition and the bi-monthly deposits in my bank account. So while the mom with kids take off as soon as the boat is gone, I stay put - just me, myself, and I if I have to - because I live here - this is my home.

Although I'm starting to feel the bite of employment on my backside as the discussions of where port calls will take place. Place A? Place B? And thusly, who's dropping $$$ for a place ticket to port call "R" to spend a mere few days with their boy. To me, this doesn't sound like a sound investment. Spending $1,000 for 3 days seems overpriced (PLEASE, tell me if I'm wrong!). I feel like it's a better investment to spend $2,500 for the  two of you to spend on a 10-day adventure somewhere post-deployment. Anyone with me? Am I not seeing the light? Or am I the light?

So while the boys will be back from the boat this month from their summer-long exercise, I can't help but think about the future. Once Mr. Wookie shoves off for deployment, his time in California is essentially done since our tour will near the end once they return from the USS Actual Deployment. And what's more important to me? Keeping the homefire light and the bank account full, or taking a few days off here and there (and subsequently emptying a piece of the bank account) for some mid-deployment travel??

Decisions, decisions.

Readers, your insight is worthwhile. Navy ladies, please let me know how you've done!

Not my hat. The kids thought I should rock it.
And yes, this is the same night as the Victorian chair incident.

So until the planes land, the boat pulls in, the tri-walls are unpacked, and the stinky boots are loped over to the side of Mr. Wookie's desk, I'll hang here with my ladies. And pass the umpteenth wine bottle.


  1. Nice insight :) We're only just scratching the surface of detachments/deployments here. I agree about enjoying a lengthy vacation after work instead of squishing in a few days during!

  2. First, I am so incredibly jealous of your wine drinking, awesome ladies group. I have tried so hard to be a part of the wives group out here and woah, just woah. And, no. They will not due. I completely agree with you and staying for a deployment. I think there is something noncommittal about leaving. It's strange to me. Now, while I say that, there is a chance I'll leave for the next one but it's not because I can't hack it. It's because I have a better job offer elsewhere.

  3. I am also jealous of your ladies' group. Sounds amazing! I don't think there IS one for our current unit.

    I'll provide the perspective of someone who "left" for part of a deployment, although I don't think I'm a typical "leaver." Here are my reasons:

    1) Mainly, I'm returning to my actual office instead of telecommuting (which is what I do when Spike is home), since I am also trying to cling to that thing they call a "career." (Ha Ha, silly military spouse, don't you know that your job should be supporting your husband?!?!)
    2) We're stationed in middle-of-nowhere Kansas, which I dislike even in the best of times. Here's my Army spouse confession: I'm not-so-secretly jealous of the Navy's duty stations!

    Yay to Mr. Wookie being home soon. I'll drink to that!

  4. I'm trying to soak it all in since I feel like our next station will NOT be so lucky (I'll just hang out with my current ladies who also go to the next station). But I've done a duty station before without "Wives," I can do it again. Hello - I'm a blast to drink with...alone (haha!).

    And no, Meg, you'e not the typical leaver. I'll advocate for anyone trying to further their career - well careers that make money, if you're constantly interning with the circus, then no dice from me.

    Although I told him he can't come home until I clean the house. Better get started. :)

  5. I love your blog! I'm just over month into a really long deployment myself and I so wish our situation allowed me to know the wives and girlfriends of my sir's coworkers. When my sir got his first station and it wasn't somewhere that would be good for me (and we knew he would be gone for a lot of the time anyway), we decided I would stay put in DC where we had created a life and my job is.

    I, like you, am in the camp that there is no reason I cannot have a career, too. To be frank, I am of the opinion that if you want something enough (career included), you can make it happen. I should probably note though that I don't have children either so career and my love are the main focuses anyway. I also totally agree that there is something strengthening to the soul. Plus it is always good to know that you can handle being alone--not everyone can live alone, you know? :)