Sunday, November 7

WebMD vs. Google Health

For the past week-plus, I've been having this woosh in my right ear.  It wooshes with my heartbeat.  I've checked my pulse and listened to my ear.  Same tune.  And I had a pounding, nagging headache for both Wednesday and Thursday.  It keeps me up at night if I wake up to use the bathroom.  This nagging wooshing is like the opposite of counting sheep.  It's like hearing the clock when Captain Hook is nearby.

And so like any good patient, of course I've contacted WebMD.

According to WebMD, the term is "tinnitus" and it mainly happens to those over 40.  Score.  There are many potential causes: anemia, excessive alcohol intake (hehe), excessive caffeine intake (double hehe), build-up of earwax, heavy blows to the head, TMJ, changes in barometric pressure (this usually throws me into a migraine nightmare), and refusing to the laundry for a week (just kidding....because can you imagine??)

So who wants to candle my ear?

Because I don't remember drinking too much...ever (Halloween was just a hallucination), and I don't drink too much coffee (it's not like I'm from the Northwest or anything), and I always do the laundry on time.

And because you always want a second opinion from WebMD.

Thank you Google for promptly understanding my "ear noise, wooshing, heart beat."

From my expert research with Google, and reading about other "wooshers" in online forums (which is very scientific and accurate), I may have an infection.  With zero pain.  But there's definitely something up with the right ear.  Oh yay me.  Because I love me some doctors appointments.  And co-pays.  If I had a co-pay.  But I don't.  No co-pay.  It's full-pay for me.  Unmarried and uninsured.  Love it.  Except for times of medical necessity.  I wonder how difficult it is to become a Canadian citizen.  They sure don't judge for lifestyle choices.

So I'll probably delay any necessary medical appointment for a good week or so until I think about it fully, or pain actually arrives that brings me to my knees like a Catholic, because I'm never one for rash decisions.  Or I wonder if this could wait until after I get insurance.  Who knows if that'll ever happen though...

But for now it's hitting the headache medicine when it pops up.  And if you're going to tell me I need to go to the doctor, or just marry Mr. Wookie for health benefits, please do so in my left ear.  But even then you may still get a, "huuuuuuhhhh?"

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