Monday, August 24

August = Allergy Season?

I think I may very well die on the couch with a crusty snot rag in my hand.

I thought the days were gone of living in the Grass Seed Capital of the World (read: Corvallis - no joke, look it up). But I'm thinking that today may be my death bed experience.

Pray for my sinus and my soul.

I haven't felt this bad in forever. Like pounding face, itchy eyes, mucus out of every facial orafice, sneezing galore, wook screaming, "Female, shut up!" (I have a tendency to overemphasis my sneezing in the thought that the more effort put in, the more intruders sneezed out). I tried to decompose in the shower, hoping that the steam would break up the mucus pack in my face. But nope. Still oozing down the back of the throat. Still sneezing away half my brains cells at a time (yes, I realize the math on that, and I'm currently working in a deficit).

I'm almost debating what other illness I'd rather be stricken with. Migraine? Dealt with them before. Some Excedrin, a Coke, a shower, and a nap. I've got the migraine relief plan figured out (up there with the hangover relief plan). But allergies are a different story. I have to hunt down those darn allergy pills. Then wait for them to kick in. But that's after I wash them down with a glass of Chardonnay. Then I have to restock my hankerchief stash since I've damn-near soaked through one already.

And lastly I have to hope the allergies doesn't explode into a stupid sinus infection.

I honestly didn't think I'd have issues over here in the allergy department. Sweating? Yes, it gets humid on this coast. But grass allergies? That's a curveball. Swing and a miss.

So let me leave you with an image. Crazy, air-dried hair. Pink nose. Watery, red eyes. Left nostril oozing. Throat numb from mucus sludge. Crusty hanky in hand. Blogging about how much I don't like dealing with allergies. I wish I had a Qualude. Or a Rufie. Anything.


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