Thursday, April 15

If it were all up to me...

...I would have a trust fund, plain and simple.  Because working for The Man is not nearly as cool as spending a lifetime traveling the world, volunteering my time helping people be better hippies, wearing pajamas all day, every day, and amassing one hell of a wine cellar.

...I would spend time in Nome, Alaska.  Why?  Because of this guy...

While Baby Sister plans her wedding to Captain Andy, I'd spend my time at the wedding hitting on Captain Johnathan.  Because nothing is sexier than a mullet.

...the Wookie & Co. household would never run out of coffee.  Because scraping the container for every last ground is terms of desperation.  And desperation wreaks of Tiger Woods, the Oregon Ducks Football team, a morning not started right.

...Mommy McD and I would live in the same apartment complex neighborhood again.  While nothing was better than a 30-yard walk to my bestest at a time when I would sneak in courtesy of her husband, do her laundry (dirty clothes courtesy of a newborn), and sneak out, it'd still be nice to get a much-needed hug when I have no one other than Mr. Wookie in the same zip code.

...Mr. Wookie would own that tropical island he talks about.  And yes, we'd be heavily invested in sunscreen.  I'd probably be summoned to their Board of Directors with my level of commitment.

...the Norfolk, Virginia area would have a: Whole Foods, REI, Container Store, Crate and Barrel, IKEA, New Belgium Brewery Annex (just for me!), "Tall Bitches" store (it's the store I would open if I ever wanted to own a clothing store), Lucy or Lululemon, Nike outlet, Columbia outlet, and the list goes on...

And while there's a laundry list of other things that I want, my mind has gone blank.  Must be the need to focus on my coffee.  Because I scraped the bottom of the container for it, I need to enjoy it that much more.

1 comment:

  1. So we're all going to be crab fisherman's wives, huh? You to Jonathan, Hay to Andy and me to Edgar.

    We'll have to invent a club.

    "Fictional Wives of Real Crab Fishers Club"