Happy 29th++ Birthday, Brother!

Officially sliding over the age of 3o, Brother's ponying up for the downhill slide to 40. Hopefully not before giving it a good kick in the ass. We don't age without a fight. And a little bit of lying, also. Of course.

So let's uncover 31 fun facts about Brother. You know you're game. Even if you're not. Suck it up. I'm not asking for a kidney donation. It's just my family, that's all.

1. Brother taught me to always implement a "Finder's Fee" when buying underage college students alcohol. Always give credit to your services, I agree.
2. He used to get chased around elementary school because the girls loooooved to rub his "high top" haircut. Oh, the 90's.
3. Even though it took 6 years, the man still graduated from Oregon State University. Go Beavs!
4. He's got less than a month until "Daddy" becomes a part of his life. The little niec-phew is due February 10th - and the family's excited!
5. He taught me that there's nothing like relief of the Spins like the cold bathroom floor.
6. Brother used to use a large plastic trash can as a laundry hamper - perhaps he still does - we may have to check with the wife. ;)
7. His first car was a Volkswagen Rabbit - and it was a P.O.S. that left him stranded on I-5 numerous times.
8. He was born in 1979 and graduated high school in 1997 - weird.
9. I barely made it back for his wedding, as I was traveling the country on my post-college "I'm so burned out right now" phase.
10. The only time I've ever seen green poop was by his friend, Travis Harvel.
11. We're less than 2 inches apart in height. He feels very jipped.
12. In 2009, Brother & Wife become homeowners!
13. If you ever ride in Brother's Jetta, you'll swear it smells like crayons. Because it does!
14. The video game F.E.A.R. nearly made him poop his pants - swear!
15. He lives approximately 5 miles away from the Sheriff and Mama Ging.
16. Brother was the pioneer in the family in working on a wildland handcrew to help support the funding for college. Second in line, this blogger.
17. He got his first shoulder-mounted black bear last year.
18. My gift to Brother & Wife for their wedding was ceremony programs. Because I have an English degree, and I thought the wedding needed programs. Well, I liked them. That's all that counts, right?
19. While he's not exactly Asian, he gives a killer foot rub. Oh uh, cat's outta the bag. Pregnant wife at home. Sorry, Brother!
20. The punk once charged me $20 to borrow his CD player for a week - what I used to do to listen to a new Mariah Carey CD.
21. I used to beat him at leg wrestling (you know, where your backs are to the armrests on the couch, and you try to push your legs out against the other person). He'll probably claim he let me win. I know, it's because I'm awesome.
22. Oh ya, how could I forget this one? Brother is a Youth Pastor/Children's Minister, and is quite good at it. He makes the boys do push-ups when they're unruly. Sounds about right.
23. His Christmas/birthday list comprised of everything hunting, as the man's an avid outdoorsman.
24. I still believe he owes me a fishing trip since we never got around to it after I returned to Oregon.
25. He and Wife believe the niec-phew is a boy. I have no hunch. I just feel it'll come early. Gender has yet to come to me in a vision quest.
26. Brother is the only male offspring from my parents. The rest of the family is comprised of this blogger, Middle Sister, and Baby Sister. So no pressure on making sure you're family name goes on, right?
27. For Christmas, I got Brother & Wife 2 years of the Parents magazine since they're adding to their brood (and infants do not come with Owner's Manuals).
28. And he almost always borrows the Sheriff's Birkenstocks for the Christmas-time play, as he deems them periodically accurate. And might I add, comfy!
29. When he ran for President of his elementary school, I helped put up his signs around the school. And when I say helped, I mean that I was too weak to rip the duct tape so I just carried the signs around until I was needed.
30. I got my first email address in junior high just so I could email him while he was away at college in Portland. Yes, I emailed religiously. I hope he didn't mind.
31. I still owe him a present, but it'll be coming shortly. Do I get points for having the card purchased a week and a half in advance?

Happy Birthday, Brother! Hope your day was easier and more fun than trying to list 31 fun facts about your ass. Not an easy feat! I'll let you know what I find for your birthday and when to expect it.

And after the Niec-phew arrives, we'll work on a schedule so the cool, traveling Aunt can come home and teach the child all the important lessons of adulthood (like don't believe Daddy when he says that red licorice will give you anal cancer - it's just an excess of Red Dye #40 that turns your poop colors).

Love you two-and-eighth-ninths! Can't wait to see you soon!