Let's Talk Resolutions, People

Across the world, we're all the same. The same kind of person who makes resolutions each year to only blow them by the way side a few weeks later like a worn-out prostitute.

I'm no different. Obviously. Like I'd throw my precious readers to the wolves alone. No. I'm leading the pack. An angry Ging at the forefront, leading into battle, sword drawn. Too much? Least I'm not quoting Braveheart or anything. Dignity still in tact, thanks.

Last year, I tried to make mine generically existential. "To be a nicer person." And that has...well...kind of happened. Except for when I'm driving. In Virginia. Behind Gramps McGee who doesn't get the addition of Speed Limit + 5% Increase = Real Speed. I try though. I give them some courtesy sighs before I get up under their bumper and throw them to the wall. And trust me, I come from a part of Oregon that's known for it's meth addictions. And those people know Nascar. Two and two together, okay, good, on the same page now.

This year, I'm trying something new. Actually resolutions of factual increments.

Lost in translation??

Goal: Read 13 books in 2010. Log 500 miles in 2010.

Pretty beasty I'll say. But let's preface. CNN or BBC or some major news conglomerate stated how the numbers of books being read by adults is dwindling each year. I can agree with that. On average, we watch more television now than ever. And so I read something somewhere (profound, I know) that we should be able to read a book at a leisurely pace every 2 weeks. Okay, 2 weeks, I can get behind that. Now, I know some people (coughMOMMYMCDcough) who go through books like I go through reasons for hating treadmills. I say talent. So I'm here to step up my game.

It's been awhile since I've been forced to scrounge down literature. Over 2 years to be exact. And I don't miss my English Undergrad at all. It's ruined any desire for fiction (minus Chaucer, the man was a genius!). So now I'm left with an interest in only the nonfiction realm. Give me real facts. I want to learn something. Not just how Dan Brown drew out the last 20 pages of The Lost Symbol to wrap up the story with a pretty bow as opposed to ending in on the cliff and letting readers figure shit out on their own. But the man makes a pretty penny, and I only have a lowly English degree, so I believe Point: Dan Brown.

And about those 500 miles. I'd like to throw myself at another challenge. For starters, I signed up for a half marathon. Looking back, probably not the smartest idea I've ever had. Probably not even Top 5. But it's there. Looming on the schedule. Less than 12 weeks away. Running buddy with me. I'll do it. Will I be the fastest? Yes, when pigs fly after shooting liquid cocaine out of their nipples. Reality? No, but hopefully it'll spur me into continuing this cheap form of exercise (I say cheap, because it is compared to personal yoga sessions - it can also be expensive when you tabulate new shoes, gear, entrance fees, massages, and psychological therapy).

I'm not a runner. I mean, some people consider you a "runner" despite the fact you look like Phoebe after being hit by lightning. In that case, yes, I'm a runner. But I've never connected with running the way I do with yoga. I call it a slight bias when I'm just naturally built for yoga. So my goal is to change that. And maybe if I'm lucky/crazy/transformed, I'll add another race or 2 to the 2010 schedule. I think a short distance would be fun. NO, Mommy McD, I will NOT run a FULL marathon. Ever. Thanks. But I'll definitely keep the blogosphere posted.

I mean, what else do I do with my time? Definitely not cook for myself, unless I have to.