Some considered it a trip back home. I also considered an early birthday present. I was looking forward to trees, real mountains, good food, no humidity, lots of family, great beer, a lack of sleep, and a Beaver victory. I almost got it all. Damn you, Arizona.
It started with an early ass flight from the Wrong Coast. Yay for window seats.
From there it propelled into 24/7 Family Fest! We were instantly thrown into preparing for the Beaver Victory that was to be had that weekend. Little did we know, there was no victory after all. But good thing we have this motto: "Win or lose, we still booze."
After hitting up the delectable eatery of Local Boys, the family was on a mission.
And with Cupcake Professor Middle Sister taking charge, she prepared an amazing tutorial in Decorating Cupcakes 101. With some time in the Albertsons bakery under her belt, let's just say she can do more than pipe. The bitch can pipe. I swear, if you wanted your cake to look like the back windshield of a Mexican suburban, she could probably do that too.
So the family tries out their flair. I, however, made it look like a 4-year-old did it. No impressive at all. Therefore I stood back and admired those with a bit more creative flair.
Sorry for the liquor bottles being in the way of the orange icing. Gosh, alcoholic.
Thanks Baby Sister! Your enthusiasm is appreciated! Or did you find the liquor cabinet?
The Sheriff trying his hand in the bakery. After all, he's a Food Network buff also.
But then the Sheriff was over the icing and in the living room reading Real Simple.
Then Mama Ging started her own tutorial. Apparently Baby Sister wasn't amused.
And the Master breaking out her skills. I swear she almost wrote Houshmandzadeh on one.
Fun Fact: #84 on the Bengals. Yes, teammate of the Ocho Cinco. Yes, both OSU grads.
Oh yay, Middle Sister's roommate is in on it now. We're thinking of going into business by now.
Mmmmmmm, orange icing. And even though they weren't funfetti, still delish!
And then Baby Sister was over it also. Plus we had to kill a little bit of time before dinner. At McMenamin's. With many PITCHERS of microbrews. And a whopping 16 people out to see me. I know, I know. I'm kinda a big deal. People know me.
But let's focus on game day. What's game day without jello shots? Made by Dr. K.
Dr. Stacey Kervorkian showing off her latest Beaver Gear purchase courtesy of Fred Meyer!
Now like Middle Sister's a professional in the baking department, Dr. K has received her Master's in Jello Shots. A real professional. She even has a cookbook. Okay, not really, but trust me. You want her to make them.
The graceful ballet as she delicately pours the concoction into the totally-not-stolen-from-a-fast-food-joint-and-not-ketchup-containers cups. An. Art. Form.
The worst part? Waiting for those suckers to set. Tick tock tick tock. Lame.
Little cups of awesomeness. So tasty. But don't be careless, they pack a punch.
Fast forward to tailgating time. Those little beauties are ready for testing.
So the trick is you have to get your tongue around the outside to pry it off the plastic...
Then you squeeze the sides together to launch it off the bottom...
And then vacuum any remaining edibles as any part not eaten is surely wasted. And we can't have that. No, not at all.
But then Middle Sister & Co. (definition: all of Middle Sister's friends, all Oregon State students, all awesome drinkers) decide to make this concoction of "Hop, Skip, and Go Naked."
Recipe: Take one Rubbermaid container, cleaned, primed for beverage containment.
Pour in massive amounts of alcohol and beer into container and watch liquid level rise.
Out goes an entire fifth, half a 12-pack of Coors, and some other ungodly amounts of stuff.
Pay no attention to the froth or the fact it looks like a septic system's worse nightmare.
It looks DISGUSTING. It smells even worse. And I wasn't convinced it'd be drinkable.
Top it off with whatever else won't skeeze out your tailgating company.
Stir with ladle and serve. But watch yourself. It's potent. I call it a cousin to Jungle Juice.
And thankfully we had some guests drop by to our tailgate: Uncle Myron & Wife!
And in honor of my birthday that was only a couple days away, I was given an honorary jello shot...the size of my head. Oi ve.
Dig in. And thankfully I had people to share with. Because between Dr. K's jello shots, the Hop, Skip, and Go Naked, and this bowl o' jello, I was feeling very festive.
Cup #? - Let's just say that Dr. K and I (both '07 college grads) did our best in keeping up with the Middle Sister & Friends. I think we handled ourselves quite well. Recovery is where the 25-year-olds differ from the peppy college students. Age doesn't help. Oh, to be young...
But soon it was time to make it back up to Portland. After a teary goodbye to Corvallis and Middle Sister, we ventured north. But what's a sleep out with Baby Sister without appropriate Beaver pajamas? Now if these pants aren't awesome, I don't know what it is. I think they're stellar. Just wait until the MC Hammer comeback tour hits. You won't be laughing then.
And in case you ever wanted to see Chicago from the air. Now that's a city.
And lastly, the view that doesn't impress me at all. Of the flat, lacking-of-any-terrain Virginia. While it's home, it's not Oregon. People don't die here. Well, I mean, they do. Usually in means other than getting lost on Mount Hood or in the mountains of Southern Oregon. Nature can't kill you out here. Just other people. Or ladders. That's it.
No comments:
Post a Comment