Tuesday, May 25

How to have horns protrude by 6:00am.

So there I am, lying peacefully, beautifully asleep in our sprawling Queen-sized bed, dreaming of unicorns, dandelions, and Timothy Olyphant, when my alarm started in on its escalating shrill of a devil dance on the nightstand.

Yawn.  Okay, snooooooze button.

Why snooze?  Why not snooze?  It's like flippin' the world of wake-ups the bird while you cozy back down under the covers for another 10 minutes.  Because 10 minutes is enough to rehab my sanity.  Or at least, that's what I'm counting on.

But what's this?????  It won't snooze.  IT WON'T FREAKIN' SNOOZE!!  One after the other are multiple "Wake your asssssss up, Gingy!" alarms.  And I'm about to pull out my freakin' hair.  One.  Alarm.  After.  The.  Other.  So this leaves me no choice but to pull the batteries and curse the day already.  NO one likes to wake up instantaneously in a fit of rage, pissed at their cell phone, without any morning coffee yet.  I swear, if I weren't a Ging...I probably would have turned green and 'roid-like.  Minus the denim cutoffs.  That's soooo 1994.  Really, what was Hulk thinking?  Personal stylist?  Nope.

So I pull the battery, and debate falling back asleep and waking when I want.  But when's the last time I missed work for oversleeping?  Never.  Attendance = A+ record.  Sorry tangent.

Well, after restarting my phone, I got into the "alarm creating" file.  And holy shit.  I had...somehow...Mr. Wookie??....Dorothy????.....over a dozen 6:00am alarms.  WTF?

In the words of Meredith Brooks..."I hate the world today..."

But alas, I'm up.  Working on my first cup of coffee, making all things right in the world (at least right in the Ging-sense).  I'll be Mr. Wookie-less for dinner/running tonight as the Navy wants to spend a little quality time with him.  I can't blame them really.  He looks very cute in his uniform.  Especially from behind.

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