Monday, March 29

Does anyone actually like Mondays?

It's now past 7am, and I have no motivation to get moving this morning.  My hair's still in the towel turbin.  Robe still on.  Lounging comfortably in bed, blogging.  Cheerios long eaten.  While a thunderstorm annihilates outside.

I slept in the middle of the bed last night.  That's a first in forever.  Even back in the long-distance days I'd still only sleep on "my" side of the bed.  But apparently I was getting uber comfortable last night.  Or I was secretly missing my roommate.  But he should be here tonight.  Which is good.  Because there's only so many times I can try to hold a conversation with a tankful of 3 turtles whose only missions in life is to bask on their wooden platform.

And there's just something about spending a weekend alone, in a town where you don't really know anyone, and the freakish thought process of, What if someone tries to break in???  Because there's nothing like scaring yourself on a Friday night.

So I need a baseball bat for protection.

Yes, we have guns, but they're downstairs.  And probably not loaded.  And I'm awful at shooting.  Minus the '22.'  I'm like a sniper with that.  But I don't know how useful long-range accuracy is when someone's just trying to steal electronics.  We all know the turtles would just coward and hide.  Minus Mr. Friendly.  He'd want to be fed again.

But am I really ready for a dog?  I mean, me...not us.  Mr. Wookie grew up with dogs.  I grew up with cats.  Cats are easy.  Unless they're neurotic redhead'd cats (the parents have one).  Then I just want to give it to the Korean family down the street for dinner.

Obviously this apartment is not the place for animals.  People in the building do.  But most of them are miserable human beings who hoard themselves indoors all weekend, and they're only worthwhile relationship is the dog they take out for bathroom breaks.  I.  Don't.  Want.  That.

But it's time to get ready for work.  Unfortunately.  Hopefully today is one of those days where the coffee at work tastes really good.  Like the Work Fairy sprinkles Qualudes in there to make everyone forget it's a Monday.  I like the Work Fairy like that.  And when she super speeds up the work clock and it's 5 o'clock already.

Maybe I should add her to my Christmas card list...


  1. I always freak myself out when Collin leaves and I'm by myself in this giant house with no one around (LOTS of doors, windows, and shit to steal....). What do you do when someone breaks in? Try to jump out the window to safety? Chase after them with a baseball bat? Attempt to use the gun that you're not really familiar with and risk shooting yourself? Or just lock every door between you and the potential burglar and hide in the closet with your phone frantically trying to call 911?

  2. No. No one likes Mondays. Especially Mondays without Zumba, or running. Damn spring break.