Wednesday, June 9

Sights and Sounds of Traveling with the Ging

Dear Norfolk Airport,

Having on x-ray machine down cramped my style.  I hate being stuck behind amateur travelers while moving my shit along.  Figure it out before this Ging goes postal.

Thanks, Ging.

Dear Dude Talking Loud on Your Cellphone,

No, having the Mercedes symbol tattooed on your butt is not funny.  And not showing up for work because you didn't feel like it is not entertaining.

Thanks, Ging.

Dear Armrest Communist on Flight #1,

Sorry for spilling water on you.  I honestly didn't know that the water would spurt out of my water bottle with the pressure change at 34,000 feet.  But serves you right for thinking I didn't want equal use of the armrest.  Asshole.

Thanks, Ging.

Dear Pilot on Flight #1,

As awesome as organ donation is, please don't let us know we have a human heart on board and will be expediting to our destination.  This grosses me out.  And all I think about it Rat Race.  It is a race!

Thanks, Ging.

Dear Dallas/Ft. Worth International Airport,

The airtram = AWESOME.  That's all.

Thanks, Ging.

Dear American Airline,

Delaying my flight because of a circuit board issue = NOT OKAY.  Especially when it's 10:00am and I'd just feel like a super alcoholic ponying up to the bar to wait out the delay.  So instead, I read more of my book.

I guess "Thanks," Ging.

Dear Man Who Smelled Like Menthol and Wet-Dog Farts,

Another arm rest communist!  I'd say sorry for the second water bottle incident, but I'd be lying.  You smelt.  And I'm pretty sure you had prostate issues as you peed more than an 8-month pregnant woman.  But thanks for letting me think you smelled like Vick's Vapor Rub.

Peace, Ging.

Dear Portland,

Thanks for the great weather.  Rain = glorious.

Super thanks, Ging.

Dear Baby Sister and Mama Ging,

Thanks for the pick up.  Props, bitches.

Fist bump, hugs, and tears, Ging. 

Dear Mom,

Compton is NOT Hampton.  Please do not confuse the two.  You'll thank us.  Especially when in South LA.

Thanks, Ging.

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